Richard III – Act 3 Scene 5

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Come, cousin, canst thou quake and change thy colour,

Come, cousin, can’t you shake with fear, turn ashen,

Murder thy breath in middle of a word,

And cease from speaking halfway through a word,

And then again begin, and stop again,

And then begin again, then stop again,

As if thou were distraught and mad with terror?

As though you were distraught and mad from fear?

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Tut, I can counterfeit the deep tragedian,

Pah! I can fake fear like a tragic actor,

Speak and look back, and pry on every side,

And speak and look around as though I’m frightened,

Tremble and start at wagging of a straw;

And tremble when a blade of grass is nodding;

Intending deep suspicion, ghastly looks

Pretending I’m suspicious, looking scared,

Are at my service, like enforced smiles;

Are all skills at my service, like a fake smile;

And both are ready in their offices

And both those skills are ready to deploy

At any time to grace my stratagems.

At any time to liven up my plans.

But what, is Catesby gone?

But what, has Catesby left?

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

He is, and see, he brings the Mayor along.

He has, but look, he brings the Mayor to us.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Lord Mayor –

Lord Mayor…

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Look to the drawbridge there!

Lift up the drawbridge!

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Hark, a drum!

I hear a drum!

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Catesby, o’erlook the walls.

Keep watch over the walls, Catesby.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Lord Mayor, the reason we have sent –

Lord Mayor, the reason why we asked you here…

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Look back, defend thee, here are enemies!

Look out, defend yourselves, here come your foes!

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

God and our innocence defend and guard us!

May God and our own innocence defend us!

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Be patient, they are friends – Ratcliffe and Lovel.

Don’t worry, they are friends – Ratcliffe and Lovel.

LORD LOVEL

Here is the head of that ignoble traitor,

Here is the head of that dishonest traitor,

The dangerous and unsuspected Hastings.

The dangerous Hastings none of us suspected.

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

So dear I loved the man that I must weep.

I loved that man so much I have to cry.

I took him for the plainest harmless creature

I thought he was the sweetest and most harmless

That breathed upon the earth a Christian;

Christian that ever walked upon our earth.

Made him my book, wherein my soul recorded

That man was like my diary, for I told him

The history of all her secret thoughts.

The secret thoughts I’d had throughout my life.

So smooth he daubed his vice with show of virtue

He covered up his sins so expertly

That, his apparent open guilt omitted –

That, if he hadn’t shown that he was guilty –

I mean, his conversation with Shore’s wife –

I mean, by his affair with Mistress Shore –

He lived from all attainder of suspects.

Then he’d have lived without rousing suspicion.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Well, well, he was the covert’st shelt’red traitor

Well, then he was the most secretive traitor

That ever lived. Look ye, my Lord Mayor,

That ever lived. I tell you this, Lord Mayor,

Would you imagine, or almost believe,

Could you ever imagine, or believe,

Were’t not that by great preservation

That had we not been careful to survive

We live to tell it, that the subtle traitor

To live to tell the tale, that that sly traitor

This day had plotted, in the Council-house,

Today had plotted, in the Council-house,

To murder me and my good Lord of Gloucester?

To murder me and Richard, Duke of Gloucester?

LORD MAYOR OF LONDON

Had he done so?

Would he have done that?

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

What? Think you we are Turks or infidels?

What? Do you think we’re savage Turks, not Christians?

Or that we would, against the form of law,

Or do you think that we would break the law

Proceed thus rashly in the villain’s death,

By swiftly murdering this villain here

But that the extreme peril of the case,

Unless we were in mortal jeopardy,

The peace of England, and our persons’ safety,

Which threatened England’s peace, and people’s safety

Enforced us to this execution?

Which forced us then to execute this man?

LORD MAYOR OF LONDON

Now fair befall you! He deserved his death,

I wish you well from now! He earned his death,

And your good Graces both have well proceeded,

And both of you good Lords have acted well

To warn false traitors from the like attempts.

To warn off traitors pondering the same.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

I never looked for better at his hands

I never thought much of him or his actions

After he once fell in with Mistress Shore.

Since he’d had that affair with Mistress Shore.

Yet had we not determined he should die

Yet we’d decided he must not be killed

Until your lordship came to see his end,

Until you had arrived to see his death, sir,

Which now the loving haste of these our friends,

But swift, kind actions of Lovel and Ratcliffe,

Something against our meanings, have prevented;

Who got our orders wrong, have stopped that happening;

Because, my lord, I would have had you heard

Because, my lord, I wanted you to hear

The traitor speak, and timorously confess

That traitor speak and timidly confess

The manner and the purpose of his treasons,

His plans and reasons for his treasonous actions

That you might well have signified the same

So that you could convey what you had heard

Unto the citizens, who haply may

To all our citizens, who easily

Misconster us in him and wail his death.

Might misconstrue our deed and mourn his death.

LORD MAYOR OF LONDON

But, my good lord, your Grace’s words shall serve

But, my good lord, I’ll take your Grace’s word

As well as I had seen, and heard him speak;

As though I’d seen and heard him speak myself;

And do not doubt, right noble princes both,

And you don’t have to doubt, my noble Lords,

That I’ll acquaint our duteous citizens

That I’ll tell all our loyal citizens

With all your just proceedings in this cause.

How you have acted fairly in this case.

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

And to that end we wished your lordship here,

And that is why we wanted you to be here,

T’ avoid the censures of the carping world.

To stop the risk of rumours circulating.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Which since you come too late of our intent,

But though you got here later than we wanted,

Yet witness what you hear we did intend.

At least you’ve heard exactly what we planned.

And so, my good Lord Mayor, we bid farewell.

And so, my good Lord Mayor, we say goodbye.

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Go after, after, cousin Buckingham.

Go follow him, my cousin Buckingham.

The Mayor towards Guildhall hies him in all post.

The Mayor’s hotfooting it towards the Guildhall.

There, at your meet’st advantage of the time,

Once there, and when you think the time is right,

Infer the bastardy of Edward’s children.

Frame Edward’s kids as illegitimate.

Tell them how Edward put to death a citizen

Explain how Edward put a man to death

Only for saying he would make his son

For only saying that he’d make his son

Heir to the Crown – meaning indeed his house,

The ‘heir to The Crown’, meaning his tavern

Which by the sign thereof was termed so.

Which had a sign outside saying, ‘The Crown’.

Moreover, urge his hateful luxury

Then state how badly he abused his power

And bestial appetite in change of lust,

To satisfy his lustful appetite,

Which stretched unto their servants, daughters, wives,

Including with their servants, daughters, wives,

Even where his raging eye or savage heart,

Whenever his desires or his perversions

Without control, lusted to make a prey.

Made him exploit someone without control.

Nay, for a need, thus far come near my person:

And if you need to, you can talk about me:

Tell them, when that my mother went with child

Tell them that when my mother had got pregnant

Of that insatiate Edward, noble York,

With lustful Edward, noble Duke of York,

My princely father, then had wars in France,

My royal father was at war in France,

And by true computation of the time,

And if you truly calculate the time,

Found that the issue was not his begot;

You’d find that Edward couldn’t be his son;

Which well appeared in his lineaments,

And also, it was clear from his appearance

Being nothing like the noble Duke my father.

That he looked nothing like my noble father.

Yet touch this sparingly, as ’twere far off,

Yet say this carefully, like a suggestion,

Because, my lord, you know my mother lives.

Because you know my mother’s still alive.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

Doubt not, my lord, I’ll play the orator

Don’t doubt it, sir, I’ll speak like I’m performing

As if the golden fee for which I plead

To win the golden crown as King I ask for

Were for myself – and so, my lord, adieu.

Like it was for myself. So, sir, goodbye.

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

If you thrive well, bring them to Baynard’s Castle,

If you succeed, bring them to Baynard’s Castle,

Where you shall find me well accompanied

Where you will find me in good company

With reverend fathers and well-learned bishops.

With noble priests and educated bishops.

DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM

I go, and towards three or four a’ clock

I’ll go; at roughly three or four o’clock,

Look for the news that the Guildhall affords.

Expect to get an update from the Guildhall.

RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER

Go, Lovel, with all speed to Doctor Shaw;

Lovel, run quickly off to Doctor Shaw;

[To Catesby.]

Go thou to Friar Penker; bid them both

You go to Friar Penker; tell them both

Meet me within this hour at Baynard’s Castle.

To meet me in an hour at Baynard’s Castle.

[EXEUNT LOVEL AND CATESBY.]

[To Ratcliffe.]

Now will I go to take some privy order

Now I will go and write secret instructions

To draw the brats of Clarence out of sight,

To keep the brattish kids of Clarence hidden,

And to give order that no manner person

And send an order that no single person

Have any time recourse unto the Princes.

At any time can see King Edward’s sons.