A Midsummer Night's Dream – Act 4 Scene 2

QUINCE

Have you sent to Bottom's house? Is he come home yet?

Have you checked Bottom’s house? Has he come home yet?

STARVELING

He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt he is transported.

Nobody has heard from him. Without doubt, he’s vanished.

FLUTE

If he come not, then the play is marred: it goes

If he doesn’t arrive, the play is spoiled: it can’t

not forward, doth it?

go on without him, can it?

QUINCE

It is not possible: you have not a man in all

It is impossible: there is not a man in the whole of

Athens able to discharge Pyramus but he.

Athens who can perform the role of Pyramus except for him.

FLUTE

No, he hath simply the best wit of any handicraft

No, he is simply the smartest of all the working

man in Athens.

men of Athens.

QUINCE

Yea and the best person too; and he is a very

Yes, and he looks the best too; and he is an excellent

paramour for a sweet voice.

paramour and lover for such a sweet voice.

FLUTE

You must say 'paragon:' a paramour is, God bless us,

You must say ‘paragon’: a paramour and lover is, I’m afraid,

a thing of naught.

rather rude.

SNUG

Masters, the duke is coming from the temple, and

Masters, the duke is arriving from the temple, and

there is two or three lords and ladies more married:

there are two or three more couples to be married:

if our sport had gone forward, we had all been made men.

if we’d performed our play, we’d have made a fortune.

FLUTE

O sweet bully Bottom! Thus hath he lost sixpence a

Oh dear old Bottom! He’s gone and lost sixpence a

day during his life; he could not have 'scaped

day for the rest of his life; he couldn’t have got less than

sixpence a day: an the duke had not given him

sixpence a day. If the duke had not given him

sixpence a day for playing Pyramus, I'll be hanged;

sixpence a day for playing Pyramus, I’d hang myself.

he would have deserved it: sixpence a day in

He’d have deserved it: sixpence a day for

Pyramus, or nothing.

playing Pyramus, or nothing at all.

BOTTOM

Where are these lads? Where are these hearts?

Where are these lads? Where are these good chaps?

QUINCE

Bottom! O most courageous day! O most happy hour!

Bottom! Oh, what a wonderful day! What a happy time this is!

BOTTOM

Masters, I am to discourse wonders: but ask me not

Friends, I have some amazing things to tell you: but don’t ask

what; for if I tell you, I am no true Athenian. I

me what they are, for if I tell you, I’m not a true Athenian. I

will tell you every thing, right as it fell out.

will tell you everything, exactly as it happened.

QUINCE

Let us hear, sweet Bottom.

Let us hear it then, dear Bottom.

BOTTOM

Not a word of me. All that I will tell you is, that

I’m not saying a word! All I’ll tell you is that

the duke hath dined. Get your apparel together,

the duke has had his dinner. So, get your stuff together,

good strings to your beards, new ribbons to your

put new strings on your fake beards, new ribbons on your

pumps; meet presently at the palace; every man look

shoes; let’s meet soon at the palace; everyone must have read

o'er his part; for the short and the long is, our

through their part; because the long and short of it is that our

play is preferred. In any case, let Thisbe have

play has been selected to be performed. Anyway, give Thisbe

clean linen; and let not him that plays the lion

clean underpants, and make sure whoever is playing the lion

pair his nails, for they shall hang out for the

doesn’t cut his fingernails, for they should protrude like

lion's claws. And, most dear actors, eat no onions

lion’s claws. And, most of all, dear actors, don’t eat onions

nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath; and I

nor garlic, for our breath must smell sweet; and I

do not doubt but to hear them say, it is a sweet

have no doubt that we will hear them say that is a sweet

comedy. No more words: away! Go, away!

comedy. No more chatting: let’s go! Let’s go, let’s go!