A Midsummer Night's Dream – Act 2 Scene 1

PUCK

How now, spirit! Whither wander you?

Hey there, spirit! Where are you off to?

FAIRY

Over hill, over dale,

Over hill, over dale,

Thorough bush, thorough brier,

Through the bush, through the brier,

Over park, over pale,

Over park, over pale,

Thorough flood, thorough fire,

Through the flood, through the fire,

I do wander everywhere,

I wander everywhere around,

Swifter than the moon's sphere;

Faster than the moon goes round;

And I serve the fairy queen,

And I serve the fairy queen,

To dew her orbs upon the green.

Spreading dew on grasses green.

The cowslips tall her pensioners be:

The cowslips are her bodyguards;

In their gold coats spots you see;

On them you see their golden shards,

Those be rubies, fairy favours,

And some rubies, fairies’ pride,

In those freckles live their savours:

In those spots their scents reside.

I must go seek some dewdrops here

I have to find some dewdrop bowers,

And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.

Placing dew on cowslip flowers.

Farewell, thou lob of spirits; I'll be gone:

Farewell, you foolish spirit; I’ll be gone:

Our queen and all our elves come here anon.

Our queen and elves will soon come here anon.

PUCK

The king doth keep his revels here to-night:

The king will host a party here tonight:

Take heed the queen come not within his sight;

Make sure the queen is not within his sight;

For Oberon is passing fell and wrath,

For Oberon is furious as hell

Because that she as her attendant hath

That she’s employed within her personnel

A lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king;

A lovely boy pinched from an Indian king;

She never had so sweet a changeling;

She never swapped one so endearing;

And jealous Oberon would have the child

And Oberon, mad jealous, sought the child

Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild;

To join his staff within the forests wild;

But she perforce withholds the loved boy,

But, using force, she kept hold of the boy,

Crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy:

And crowned his head with flowers, out of joy.

And now they never meet in grove or green,

And now they never meet in grove nor green,

By fountain clear, or spangled starlight sheen,

By fountain clear, nor glistening, shining stream,

But, they do square, that all their elves for fear

But they just argue, so their frightened elves

Creep into acorn-cups and hide them there.

Creep into acorn cones to hide themselves.

FAIRY

Either I mistake your shape and making quite,

I’m either much mistaken by your frame,

Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite

Or you’re that naughty spirit by the name

Called Robin Goodfellow: are not you he

Of Robin Goodfellow: is that not you

That frights the maidens of the villagery;

That scares the village maidens through and through;

Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern

Who clogs the millstone, skims the cream, they utter,

And bootless make the breathless housewife churn;

So housewives churn the milk but make no butter;

And sometime make the drink to bear no barm;

And sometimes stop the beer they make from foaming,

Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm?

And laugh at wandering folk that you send roaming?

Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck,

But those that call you Hobgoblin or Puck,

You do their work, and they shall have good luck:

You help them out, ensuring their good luck:

Are not you he?

Is that not you?

PUCK

Thou speak'st aright;

You’re absolutely right;

I am that merry wanderer of the night.

I am that merry wanderer of the night.

I jest to Oberon and make him smile

I joke with Oberon and make him smile

When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile,

By tricking fat old horses with a style

Neighing in likeness of a filly foal:

Of neighing in the likeness of a foal,

And sometime lurk I in a gossip's bowl,

And sometimes I hide in a lady’s bowl,

In very likeness of a roasted crab,

Disguised as a crab-apple, hidden deep,

And when she drinks, against her lips I bob

And when she drinks, up to her lips I peep,

And on her withered dewlap pour the ale.

And on her wrinkled neck, I spill her ale.

The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale,

The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale,

Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me;

Sometimes mistakes me for a three-legged chair,

Then slip I from her bum, down topples she,

But when I move, she falls for I’m not there,

And 'tailor' cries, and falls into a cough;

And cries out ‘tailor!’, then she coughs and wheezes;

And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh,

And all the choir will laugh at her with teases,

And waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear

And they’ll laugh more and start to sneeze, and swear

A merrier hour was never wasted there.

They’ve never spent a funnier evening there.

But, room, fairy! Here comes Oberon.

But make room, fairy! Here comes Oberon.

FAIRY

And here my mistress. Would that he were gone!

And here’s my mistress. I wish he were gone!

OBERON

Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.

I’m not pleased meeting you tonight, Titania.

TITANIA

What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence:

You’re jealous, Oberon? Fairies, skip off:

I have forsworn his bed and company.

I swear I’ll never sleep with him again.

OBERON

Tarry, rash wanton: am not I thy lord?

You are impetuous: aren’t I your husband?

TITANIA

Then I must be thy lady: but I know

If so, then I’m your wife, but I’m aware

When thou hast stolen away from fairy land,

When you have snuck away from fairy land,

And in the shape of Corin sat all day,

To act like Corin, sat around all day,

Playing on pipes of corn and versing love

Playing some music, speaking poetry

To amorous Phillida. Why art thou here,

To amorous Phillida. Why are you here,

Come from the farthest Steppe of India?

Arriving from the farthest Steppe of India?

But that, forsooth, the bouncing Amazon,

Because that Amazonian, Hippolyta –

Your buskined mistress and your warrior love,

Your booted mistress, warrior love interest –

To Theseus must be wedded, and you come

Is to be wed to Theseus, and you’ve come

To give their bed joy and prosperity.

To wish them both joy and prosperity.

OBERON

How canst thou thus for shame, Titania,

How can you stand there shamelessly, Titania,

Glance at my credit with Hippolyta,

Referring to my past with Hippolyta,

Knowing I know thy love to Theseus?

When you know that I know that you love Theseus?

Didst thou not lead him through the glimmering night

Did you not tempt him through the shimmering night

From Perigenia, whom he ravished?

Away from Perigenia, whom he’d ravished?

And make him with fair Aegle break his faith,

And made him cheat on others, such as Aegle

With Ariadne and Antiopa?

And Ariadne and Antiopa?

TITANIA

These are the forgeries of jealousy:

These are all lies born of your jealousy.

And never, since the middle summer's spring,

And not since early summer have my fairies

Met we on hill, in dale, forest or mead,

And I met on a hill, dale, wood or meadow,

By paved fountain or by rushy brook,

Or by a pebbled spring or flowing stream,

Or in the beached margent of the sea,

Or on the sandy beach beside the sea,

To dance our ringlets to the whistling wind,

To dance in circles honouring the wind,

But with thy brawls thou hast disturbed our sport.

Without you shouting, ruining our dance.

Therefore the winds, piping to us in vain,

And since we’ve not responded to the winds,

As in revenge, have sucked up from the sea

They’ve sought revenge, absorbing water that

Contagious fogs; which falling in the land

They’ve turned to murky fogs; and made it rain

Have every pelting river made so proud

So hard that every river is in flood

That they have overborne their continents:

And all the land is now awash with water.

The ox hath therefore stretched his yoke in vain,

The ox that ploughed the earth did so in vain,

The ploughman lost his sweat, and the green corn

The ploughman’s work was wasted, and the young corn

Hath rotted ere his youth attained a beard;

Has rotted prior to it getting ripe;

The fold stands empty in the drowned field,

The cattle pen stands empty in the wet field,

And crows are fatted with the murrion flock;

And crows get fat by eating rotten livestock.

The nine men's morris is filled up with mud,

The playground on the village green is muddy,

And the quaint mazes in the wanton green

And lovely mazes in the rambling grass

For lack of tread are undistinguishable:

Are indiscernible, for no one walks there.

The human mortals want their winter here;

The humans lack their winter cheer this year,

No night is now with hymn or carol blest:

No nights are blessed with hymns or Christmas carols.

Therefore the moon, the governess of floods,

And hence the moon, who governs tides and floods,

Pale in her anger, washes all the air,

Is pale with anger, dampening the air,

That rheumatic diseases do abound:

And filling it with rheumatic diseases.

And thorough this distemperature we see

And through this lack of balance in the weather,

The seasons alter: hoary-headed frosts

We see the seasons change: severe frost

Far in the fresh lap of the crimson rose,

Destroys the freshly flowering crimson rose,

And on old Hiems' thin and icy crown

And Jack Frost wears a thin and icy crown

An odorous chaplet of sweet summer buds

Made from a wreath of fragrant summer flowers

Is, as in mockery, set: the spring, the summer,

As if in mockery. The spring, the summer,

The childing autumn, angry winter, change

The fruitful autumn, angry winter, change

Their wonted liveries, and the mazed world,

How they appear, and the befuddled world

By their increase, now knows not which is which:

Cannot discern one season from another.

And this same progeny of evils comes

And all this bad confusion has arisen

From our debate, from our dissension;

Out of our talking and our arguing;

We are their parents and original.

We caused this; we’re the root cause of this problem.

OBERON

Do you amend it then; it lies in you:

So fix it then; you have the power to do so.

Why should Titania cross her Oberon?

Why argue with me? I’m your Oberon.

I do but beg a little changeling boy,

I only want the little boy you swapped,

To be my henchman.

To be my right-hand man.

TITANIA

Set your heart at rest:

Just let it go:

The fairy land buys not the child of me.

I wouldn’t sell the child for Fairyland.

His mother was a votaress of my order:

His mother was supportive of my clan:

And, in the spiced Indian air, by night,

And in those fragrant nights in India,

Full often hath she gossiped by my side,

She often chatted with me by my side,

And sat with me on Neptune's yellow sands,

And sat with me upon the yellow beaches,

Marking the embarked traders on the flood,

Observing merchant ships that came and went,

When we have laughed to see the sails conceive

And we would laugh, pretending sails were pregnant,

And grow big-bellied with the wanton wind;

Expanding out their bellies in the wind,

Which she, with pretty and with swimming gait

Which she, so pretty, with a gliding walk,

Following, – her womb then rich with my young squire, –

Would follow – she was pregnant with my young boy –

Would imitate, and sail upon the land,

And mimic, sailing up and down the beach

To fetch me trifles, and return again,

To fetch me gifts, then coming back again

As from a voyage, rich with merchandise.

As if she were a laden merchant ship.

But she, being mortal, of that boy did die;

But, being mortal, she died giving birth,

And for her sake do I rear up her boy,

And, for her sake, I’m bringing up her boy,

And for her sake I will not part with him.

And, for her sake, I will not part with him.

OBERON

How long within this wood intend you stay?

How long do you plan staying in this wood?

TITANIA

Perchance till after Theseus' wedding-day.

Perhaps till after Theseus’ wedding day.

If you will patiently dance in our round

If you will join our circle dance with patience

And see our moonlight revels, go with us;

And watch our moonlight revelries, come with us;

If not, shun me, and I will spare your haunts.

If not, then stay away; I’ll do the same.

OBERON

Give me that boy, and I will go with thee.

Give me that boy, then I will come with you.

TITANIA

Not for thy fairy kingdom. Fairies, away!

Not for your fairy kingdom. Fairies, leave!

We shall chide downright, if I longer stay.

If I stay here, a fight’s all we’ll achieve.

OBERON

Well, go thy way: thou shalt not from this grove

Well, leave then: but you will not leave this grove

Till I torment thee for this injury.

Until I’ve made you suffer for your actions.

My gentle Puck, come hither. Thou rememberest

My gentle Puck, come here. You must remember

Since once I sat upon a promontory,

That time when I sat up upon the headland

And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back

And heard a mermaid on a dolphin’s back

Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath

Melodiously singing with such beauty

That the rude sea grew civil at her song

The stormy seas fell calm hearing her song

And certain stars shot madly from their spheres,

And certain stars fell wildly from the sky

To hear the sea-maid's music.

To hear the mermaid’s music.

PUCK

I remember.

I remember.

OBERON

That very time I saw, but thou couldst not,

Right then I saw, although you couldn’t see it,

Flying between the cold moon and the earth,

Flying between the cold moon and the earth,

Cupid all armed: a certain aim he took

Cupid all armed with bow and arrow, firing

At a fair vestal throned by the west,

At a sweet virgin seated on a throne,

And loosed his love-shaft smartly from his bow,

And skilfully he fired a love arrow

As it should pierce a hundred thousand hearts;

As though to hit a hundred thousand hearts;

But I might see young Cupid's fiery shaft

But I observed young Cupid’s burning arrow

Quenched in the chaste beams of the watery moon,

Extinguished by the pure and dripping moonbeams,

And the imperial votaress passed on,

To leave the royal virgin unaffected,

In maiden meditation, fancy-free.

To ponder her virginity unswayed.

Yet marked I where the bolt of Cupid fell:

But I remembered where the arrow fell;

It fell upon a little western flower,

It fell upon a flower to the west,

Before milk-white, now purple with love's wound,

Once white, but now turned purple, scarred by love;

And maidens call it love-in-idleness.

Which virgins now call ‘love-in-idleness’.

Fetch me that flower; the herb I shewed thee once:

Bring me that flower; I showed you that herb once.

The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid

The nectar of that flower dropped on eyelids

Will make or man or woman madly dote

Will make a man or woman fall besotted

Upon the next live creature that it sees.

In love with the first creature that it sees.

Fetch me this herb; and be thou here again

Bring me this flower, and be back again

Ere the leviathan can swim a league.

Before the sea monster can swim three miles.

PUCK

I'll put a girdle round about the earth

I plan to travel all around the earth

In forty minutes.

In forty minutes.

OBERON

Having once this juice,

Once I have this nectar,

I'll watch Titania when she is asleep,

I’ll spy upon Titania till she’s sleeping,

And drop the liquor of it in her eyes.

And then I’ll drop its nectar in her eyes.

The next thing then she waking looks upon,

The next thing that she sees when she wakes up,

Be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull,

If it’s a lion, bear, or wolf, or bull,

On meddling monkey, or on busy ape,

Or cheeky monkey, or a busy ape,

She shall pursue it with the soul of love:

She’ll fall head-over-heels in love with it.

And ere I take this charm from off her sight,

And then before I break her spell of sight,

As I can take it with another herb,

As I’ll do with another flower’s nectar,

I'll make her render up her page to me.

I’ll make her give her little boy to me.

But who comes here? I am invisible;

Who’s coming here? I’m now invisible,

And I will overhear their conference.

And I will listen to their conversation.

DEMETRIUS

I love thee not, therefore pursue me not.

I do not love you, so do not pursue me.

Where is Lysander and fair Hermia?

Where is Lysander and fair Hermia?

The one I'll slay, the other slayeth me.

I’ll kill one, whilst the other’s killing me.

Thou told'st me they were stolen unto this wood;

You said that they were sneaking to this wood;

And here am I, and wode within this wood,

And here am I, quite mad within this wood,

Because I cannot meet my Hermia.

Because I cannot see my Hermia.

Hence, get thee gone, and follow me no more.

So, clear off, and don’t follow me again.

HELENA

You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant;

You draw me to you, like a heavy magnet;

But yet you draw not iron, for my heart

But not a metal magnet, for my heart

Is true as steel: leave you your power to draw,

Is steel-like: if you lose your power to pull,

And I shall have no power to follow you.

I’ll have no power nor will to follow you.

DEMETRIUS

Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair?

Do I flirt with you? Do I say you’re gorgeous?

Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth

Or, don’t I say, in no uncertain terms,

Tell you, I do not, nor I cannot love you?

That I do not, nor can I ever, love you?

HELENA

And even for that do I love you the more.

And that just makes me love you even more.

I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius,

I am your puppy; and, Demetrius,

The more you beat me, I will fawn on you:

The more you tell me off, the more I love you.

Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me,

So use me as your puppy, spurn me, slap me,

Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave,

Ignore me, run away; but only let me

Unworthy as I am, to follow you.

Run after you, although I am not worthy.

What worser place can I beg in your love, –

Is there a worse place I can beg for love –

And yet a place of high respect with me, –

Although it is a place I’d love to be –

Than to be used as you use your dog?

Than to be used as you would use your dog?

DEMETRIUS

Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit;

Don’t tempt me into hating you some more;

For I am sick when I do look on thee.

For I am sick when I just look at you.

HELENA

And I am sick when I look not on you.

And I am sick when I don’t look at you.

DEMETRIUS

You do impeach your modesty too much,

It’s far too risky to your reputation

To leave the city and commit yourself

To leave the city, offering yourself

Into the hands of one that loves you not;

For free to someone you know doesn’t love you;

To trust the opportunity of night

And trusting that temptations of a night

And the ill counsel of a desert place

And sordid thoughts in somewhere quite deserted

With the rich worth of your virginity.

Are worth the risk to your virginity.

HELENA

Your virtue is my privilege: for that

Your decency is my protection: and so

It is not night when I do see your face,

It’s not the night-time when I see your face,

Therefore I think I am not in the night;

And so I don’t believe that it is night-time;

Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company,

Nor is there lack of company in the woods,

For you in my respect are all the world:

For you are all the company I need,

Then how can it be said I am alone,

So how can it be said that I’m alone

When all the world is here to look on me?

When all my world is here to look at me?

DEMETRIUS

I'll run from thee and hide me in the brakes,

I’ll run from you and hide within the bushes,

And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts.

And leave you to the mercy of wild beasts.

HELENA

The wildest hath not such a heart as you.

Ferocious creatures aren’t as cruel as you.

Run when you will, the story shall be changed:

Run if you like: the chaser’s now the chased,

Apollo flies, and Daphne holds the chase;

Like virgin Daphne chasing lewd Apollo,

The dove pursues the griffin; the mild hind

Or doves pursuing monsters, or tame deer

Makes speed to catch the tiger; bootless speed,

That sprint to catch a tiger. Speed is useless

When cowardice pursues and valour flies.

When cowards chase the stronger ones away.

DEMETRIUS

I will not stay thy questions; let me go:

I will not listen to you; leave me be,

Or, if thou follow me, do not believe

Or, if you follow me, you’d best believe

But I shall do thee mischief in the wood.

I’ll do bad things to you within the wood.

HELENA

Ay, in the temple, in the town, the field,

Yes, in the church, the town, and in the field

You do me mischief. Fie, Demetrius!

You do me wrong. Damn you, Demetrius!

Your wrongs do set a scandal on my sex:

Your wrongdoing is shameful to all women:

We cannot fight for love, as men may do;

We cannot fight for love, as men can do;

We should be wood and were not made to woo.

We have to wait for men to come and woo.

[EXIT DEMETRIUS]

I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell,

I’ll follow you to heaven from this hell,

To die upon the hand I love so well.

And die, killed by the man I love so well.

OBERON

Fare thee well, nymph: ere he do leave this grove,

Goodbye, young girl: before he leaves this grove,

Thou shalt fly him and he shall seek thy love.

You’ll run from him as he pursues your love.

[RE-ENTER PUCK]

Hast thou the flower there? Welcome, wanderer.

Now, have you got the flower? Welcome, traveller.

PUCK

Ay, there it is.

Yes, here it is.

OBERON

I pray thee, give it me.

Please give it here to me.

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,

I know a grassy bank where wild thyme blows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,

Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

And luscious honeysuckle offers shade,

With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine:

Whilst roses share the sweet bouquet they’ve made.

There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,

And there, sometimes, Titania sleeps at night,

Lulled in these flowers with dances and delight;

Lulled by the flowers dancing with delight;

And there the snake throws her enamelled skin,

And there, snakes shed their old and shiny skin,

Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in:

That’s wide enough to wrap a fairy in:

And with the juice of this I'll streak her eyes,

And I will wipe her eyelids with this nectar,

And make her full of hateful fantasies.

And with some awful thoughts, it will infect her.

Take thou some of it, and seek through this grove:

Take some of it, and find within this grove,

A sweet Athenian lady is in love

A sweet Athenian lady who’s in love

With a disdainful youth: anoint his eyes;

With a derisive boy: then douse his eyes;

But do it when the next thing he espies

But make sure that the first thing that he spies

May be the lady: thou shalt know the man

Will be the lady. You will know the man

By the Athenian garments he hath on.

By the Athenian clothes that he has on.

Effect it with some care, that he may prove

Now, do it carefully, then he will prove

More fond on her than she upon her love:

More fond of her than she’s fond of his love.

And look thou meet me ere the first cock crow.

And meet me here before the first cocks crow.

PUCK

Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so.

Fear not, my lord, your servant will do so.