A Midsummer Night's Dream – Act 3 Scene 2

OBERON

I wonder if Titania be awaked;

I wonder if Titania is awake yet;

Then, what it was that next came in her eye,

For then, the very first thing that she saw

Which she must dote on in extremity.

Will be the thing she’ll totally adore.

[ENTER PUCK]

Here comes my messenger. How now, mad spirit!

Here comes my messenger. What’s up, mad spirit!

What night-rule now about this haunted grove?

What mischief have you caused within our grove?

PUCK

My mistress with a monster is in love.

Titania, with a monster, is in love.

Near to her close and consecrated bower,

Near to her secret, consecrated bed,

While she was in her dull and sleeping hour,

While she was lying, like a sleepy-head,

A crew of patches, rude mechanicals,

A gang of bumpkins, who work with their hands

That work for bread upon Athenian stalls,

To earn their bread upon Athenian stands,

Were met together to rehearse a play

All met together to rehearse a play

Intended for great Theseus' nuptial-day.

Intended for great Theseus’ wedding day.

The shallowest thick-skin of that barren sort,

The biggest fool within that bunch of twits,

Who Pyramus presented, in their sport

Who’s playing Pyramus within their skits,

Forsook his scene and entered in a brake

Retreated from his scene into a bush

When I did him at this advantage take,

Where I did take my chance and on him push

An ass's nole I fixed on his head:

A donkey’s head, which I firmly applied.

Anon his Thisbe must be answered,

Soon Thisbe’s line then had to be replied,

And forth my mimic comes. When they him spy,

And out my donkey comes. And when they see him,

As wild geese that the creeping fowler eye,

Like geese that see a hunter, they all flee him,

Or russet-pated choughs, many in sort,

Or russet-headed jackdaws, in a flock,

Rising and cawing at the gun's report,

That scatter hearing gunshot from the shock

Sever themselves and madly sweep the sky,

And fill the sky as they all fly astray,

So, at his sight, away his fellows fly;

So, at this sight, his friends all ran away.

And, at our stamp, here o'er and o'er one falls;

And, hearing footsteps, one fell; with a yelp,

He murder cries and help from Athens calls.

He shouted ‘murder’, calling out for help.

Their sense thus weak, lost with their fears thus strong,

Devoid of common sense, caused out of fear,

Made senseless things begin to do them wrong;

They thought all things were bad when they were near,

For briers and thorns at their apparel snatch;

Such as the thorns that on their clothing catch,

Some sleeves, some hats, from yielders all things catch.

For hats and sleeves and clothing, branches snatch.

I led them on in this distracted fear,

All terrified, I led them on, distracted,

And left sweet Pyramus translated there:

While Pyramus, transformed, stayed on, detracted.

When in that moment, so it came to pass,

Then at that moment, after all above,

Titania waked and straightway loved an ass.

Titania, with a donkey, fell in love.

OBERON

This falls out better than I could devise.

That’s worked out better than I could devise.

But hast thou yet latched the Athenian's eyes

But have you spread upon the Athenian’s eyes

With the love-juice, as I did bid thee do?

The love-juice, like I told you you should do?

PUCK

I took him sleeping, – that is finished too, –

I did it whilst he slept – that’s finished too, –

And the Athenian woman by his side:

And the Athenian girl was sleeping near,

That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.

So, when he woke, to him she would appear.

OBERON

Stand close: this is the same Athenian.

Stand back: this is the same Athenian.

PUCK

This is the woman, but not this the man.

That is the woman, but it’s not the man.

DEMETRIUS

O, why rebuke you him that loves you so?

Oh, why reject the man who loves you so?

Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe.

Use swear words only on your bitter foe.

HERMIA

Now I but chide; but I should use thee worse,

I’m swearing now, but should be doing worse,

For thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse,

For you, I fear, have caused me now to curse,

If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep,

If you have killed Lysander in his sleep,

Being o'er shoes in blood, plunge in the deep,

You’ve blood upon your shoes, so plunge in deep,

And kill me too.

And kill me too.

The sun was not so true unto the day

The sun was not as faithful to the day

As he to me: would he have stolen away

As he to me: would he have snuck away

From sleeping Hermia? I'll believe as soon

From me, asleep? I will believe as soon

This whole earth may be bored and that the moon

As earth has got a hole so that the moon

May through the centre creep and so displease

May shine down through its centre and deride

Her brother's noontide with Antipodes.

The sun at noon upon the other side.

It cannot be but thou hast murdered him;

It cannot be but that you murdered him;

So should a murderer look, so dead, so grim.

You look much like a murderer, so grim.

DEMETRIUS

So should the murdered look, and so should I,

That’s how the murdered look, and so do I,

Pierced through the heart with your stern cruelty:

For, by your cruelty, I feel I die:

Yet you, the murderer, look as bright, as clear,

Yet you, the murderer, look clear and bright,

As yonder Venus in her glimmering sphere.

Like Venus shining in the starry night.

HERMIA

What's this to my Lysander? Where is he?

That’s not about Lysander; where is he?

Ah, good Demetrius, wilt thou give him me?

Demetrius, please give him back to me.

DEMETRIUS

I had rather give his carcass to my hounds.

I’d rather give his carcass to my hounds.

HERMIA

Out, dog! Out, cur! Thou drivest me past the bounds

Get out, you dog, you’re speaking out of bounds

Of maiden's patience. Hast thou slain him, then?

Of what I’ll tolerate. So, is he dead?

Henceforth be never numbered among men!

That you’re a man, it never will be said!

O, once tell true, tell true, even for my sake!

Oh, tell the truth for once, just for my sake!

Durst thou have looked upon him being awake,

Would you have dared to look at him awake,

And hast thou killed him sleeping? O brave touch!

And have you killed him sleeping? Oh, you’re brave!

Could not a worm, an adder, do so much?

Is that not how an adder would behave?

An adder did it; for with doubler tongue

An adder did it, for a doubled tongue

Than thine, thou serpent, never adder stung.

As forked as yours, no adder ever stung.

DEMETRIUS

You spend your passion on a misprised mood:

Your misplaced passion is a waste of breath:

I am not guilty of Lysander's blood;

I am not guilty of Lysander’s death;

Nor is he dead, for aught that I can tell.

Nor is he dead, as far as I can tell.

HERMIA

I pray thee, tell me then that he is well.

Then please, I beg you, tell me that he’s well.

DEMETRIUS

An if I could, what should I get therefore?

And if I could, what would I then receive?

HERMIA

A privilege never to see me more.

You’ll not see me again after I leave.

And from thy hated presence part I so:

And from your hatefulness, I’ve no misgiving

See me no more, whether he be dead or no.

To leave forever, if he’s dead or living.

DEMETRIUS

There is no following her in this fierce vein:

She’s not worth chasing when she’s so irate,

Here therefore for a while I will remain.

Hence, therefore, for a while, right here I’ll wait.

So sorrow's heaviness doth heavier grow

For heartache’s pain will always cut more deep

For debt that bankrupt sleep doth sorrow owe:

When striving to survive with lack of sleep.

Which now in some slight measure it will pay,

So now I will begin recuperating,

If for his tender here I make some stay.

And get some rest right here while I am waiting.

OBERON

What hast thou done? Thou hast mistaken quite

What have you done? You’ve gone and got it wrong

And laid the love-juice on some true-love's sight:

By spreading love-juice where one’s love is strong:

Of thy misprision must perforce ensue

It’s sure to follow on from your mistake

Some true love turned and not a false turned true.

One hate will turn to love, one love to fake.

PUCK

Then fate o'er-rules, that, one man holding troth,

That’s fate at work, for each man who stays true,

A million fail, confounding oath on oath.

A million others break their oaths anew.

OBERON

About the wood go swifter than the wind,

Go out into the wood, swift as the wind,

And Helena of Athens look thou find:

And Helena of Athens go and find:

All fancy-sick she is and pale of cheer,

She’s lovesick and her sorrow’s made her pale

With sighs of love, that costs the fresh blood dear:

From sighing that has turned her fresh blood stale:

By some illusion see thou bring her here:

By magic, you must go and bring her here:

I'll charm his eyes against she do appear.

I’ll charm his eyes for when she does appear.

PUCK

I go, I go; look how I go,

I’m off, I’m off; look how I’m going smarter:

Swifter than arrow from the Tartar's bow.

I’m faster than an arrow from a Tartar.

OBERON

Flower of this purple dye,

Flower from this purple dye,

Hit with Cupid's archery,

Hit by Cupid’s archery,

Sink in apple of his eye.

Hit the apple of his eye.

When his love he doth espy,

When his lover he does spy,

Let her shine as gloriously

Let her shine as gloriously

As the Venus of the sky.

As planet Venus in the sky.

When thou wakest, if she be by,

When you wake, if she’s nearby,

Beg of her for remedy.

You’ll beg her for another try.

PUCK

Captain of our fairy band,

Captain of our fairy band,

Helena is here at hand;

Helena is close at hand;

And the youth, mistook by me,

And the youth who I mistook

Pleading for a lover's fee.

Is pleading with a lover’s look.

Shall we their fond pageant see?

Shall we watch their show afar?

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Lord, what fools these mortals are!

OBERON

Stand aside: the noise they make

Stand back, for the noise they make

Will cause Demetrius to awake.

Will make Demetrius awake.

PUCK

Then will two at once woo one;

Then two will try to chat up one;

That must needs be sport alone;

And that alone will sure be fun;

And those things do best please me

And I laugh the most at things

That befal preposterously.

That cause such foolish revellings.

LYSANDER

Why should you think that I should woo in scorn?

Why think I’m joking as I woo you now?

Scorn and derision never come in tears:

Nobody cries if they’re just making fun:

Look, when I vow, I weep; and vows so born,

As I commit, I’m crying; for this vow

In their nativity all truth appears.

Reveals I speak the truth, when all is done.

How can these things in me seem scorn to you,

How can these things seem insincere to you

Bearing the badge of faith, to prove them true?

When I am crying, proving that they’re true?

HELENA

You do advance your cunning more and more.

You evermore deceitful disrespecter.

When truth kills truth, O devilish-holy fray!

When truth usurps a truth, the fight is great!

These vows are Hermia's: will you give her o'er?

You’re sworn to Hermia: will you reject her?

Weigh oath with oath, and you will nothing weigh:

When truth swaps truth, both truths then hold no weight.

Your vows to her and me, put in two scales,

Weigh both the promises that you have made,

Will even weigh, and both as light as tales.

Then both your lies are weightless as displayed.

LYSANDER

I had no judgment when to her I swore.

I had no judgement when I swore to her.

HELENA

Nor none, in my mind, now you give her o'er.

And now you’re dumping her, I do concur.

LYSANDER

Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you.

Demetrius loves her; he doesn’t love you.

DEMETRIUS

[Awaking]

O Helena, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!

Oh Helena, you goddess, golden dove!

To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?

What shall I match your eyes to, oh my love?

Crystal is muddy. O, how ripe in show

Crystals seem muddy next to them. Perfection

Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow!

Your lips are, kissing cherries, sweet affection!

That pure congealed white, high Taurus snow,

The snow upon the Taurus mountains lacks

Fanned with the eastern wind, turns to a crow

Your whiteness, fanned by winds, appearing black

When thou hold'st up thy hand: O, let me kiss

Beside your hands, aloft. Oh, let me kiss

This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss!

This princess of pure white to seal this bliss!

HELENA

O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent

Oh, bloody hell! I see you’re all intent

To set against me for your merriment:

To make fun of me for your merriment.

If you were civil and knew courtesy,

If you were nice and not so reprehensive

You would not do me thus much injury.

To me, you wouldn’t be quite so offensive.

Can you not hate me, as I know you do,

Is hating me then not enough for you

But you must join in souls to mock me too?

That you must join the folk who mock me too?

If you were men, as men you are in show,

If you were men, as men you seem to be,

You would not use a gentle lady so;

You wouldn’t treat a lady thus, like me;

To vow, and swear, and superpraise my parts,

Declaring love and praising all my parts

When I am sure you hate me with your hearts.

When I am sure you hate me with your hearts.

You both are rivals, and love Hermia;

You both are rivals, and love Hermia;

And now both rivals, to mock Helena:

But now both rivals mess with Helena.

A trim exploit, a manly enterprise,

That’s brave of you, a manly enterprise,

To conjure tears up in a poor maid's eyes

To make tears swell within a lady’s eyes

With your derision! None of noble sort

By mocking her! No noblemen like you

Would so offend a virgin, and extort

Would so offend a virgin, and pursue

A poor soul's patience, all to make you sport.

A lady’s patience, just to giggle through.

LYSANDER

You are unkind, Demetrius; be not so;

Don’t be unkind, Demetrius, not to her;

For you love Hermia; this you know I know:

You know I know that you love Hermia.

And here, with all good will, with all my heart,

And with my best intentions, being true,

In Hermia's love I yield you up my part;

I’ll give up chasing Hermia for you;

And yours of Helena to me bequeath,

I ask, with Helena, you will abide,

Whom I do love and will do till my death.

Because I’ll love her till the day I’ve died.

HELENA

Never did mockers waste more idle breath.

Such empty words from fools were never sighed.

DEMETRIUS

Lysander, keep thy Hermia; I will none:

Lysander, Hermia’s yours; to me, she’s banished:

If e'er I loved her, all that love is gone.

If once I loved her, all that love has vanished.

My heart to her but as guest-wise sojourned,

My heart was like a guest out on vacation,

And now to Helen is it home returned,

Returned to Helena now, in its station,

There to remain.

For good.

LYSANDER

Helen, it is not so.

Oh Helena, it isn’t true.

DEMETRIUS

Disparage not the faith thou dost not know,

Don’t mock a love that you can never view,

Lest, to thy peril, thou aby it dear.

Or else you’ll pay the price for it, I swear.

Look, where thy love comes; yonder is thy dear.

Look, here’s your lover coming over there.

HERMIA

Dark night, that from the eye his function takes,

Dark night, that makes my eyes be less astute,

The ear more quick of apprehension makes;

Has made my hearing ears be more acute;

Wherein it doth impair the seeing sense,

So though my eyesight’s not as cognitive,

It pays the hearing double recompense.

It makes my hearing twice as sensitive.

Thou art not by mine eye, Lysander, found;

I haven’t found you with my eyes, Lysander,

Mine ear, I thank it, brought me to thy sound

But I hear sounds from you as they meander.

But why unkindly didst thou leave me so?

But why did you just leave me so unkindly?

LYSANDER

Why should he stay, whom love doth press to go?

Why stay when love drives me to follow blindly?

HERMIA

What love could press Lysander from my side?

To leave my side, what love could so exist?

LYSANDER

Lysander's love, that would not let him bide,

Lysander’s love, that he could not resist,

Fair Helena, who more engilds the night

Fair Helena, who lights the sky at night

Than all you fiery oes and eyes of light.

More brightly than the stars that shed their light.

Why seek'st thou me? Could not this make thee know,

Why did you look for me? Do you not know

The hate I bear thee made me leave thee so?

My hate for you that made me leave you so?

HERMIA

You speak not as you think: it cannot be.

You’re saying things that you do not believe.

HELENA

Lo, she is one of this confederacy!

Look, she has joined the group out to deceive!

Now I perceive they have conjoined all three

The three have joined together, I perceive,

To fashion this false sport, in spite of me.

To spite me with deceitful tricks they weave.

Injurious Hermia! Most ungrateful maid!

Oh, hurtful Hermia! You’re so ungrateful!

Have you conspired, have you with these contrived

Have you colluded with these two, contriving

To bait me with this foul derision?

To wind me up with this sick ridicule?

Is all the counsel that we two have shared,

Have those times we’ve confided in each other,

The sisters' vows, the hours that we have spent,

Like sisters share their secrets, and those hours

When we have chid the hasty-footed time

When we berated time for passing quickly

For parting us, – O, is it all forgot?

For separating us… Have you forgotten?

All school-days' friendship, childhood innocence?

Our naïve friendship since our days at school?

We, Hermia, like two artificial gods,

We used to be like two gods of the arts,

Have with our needles created both one flower,

Sewing a single flower with our needles

Both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion,

Upon a piece of cloth, sat on one cushion,

Both warbling of one song, both in one key,

Both singing out one song in harmony,

As if our hands, our sides, voices and minds,

As if our hands, our sides, voices and minds

Had been incorporate. So we grow together,

Were one. That’s how we both grew up together,

Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,

Much like two cherries, seemingly apart,

But yet an union in partition;

But yet connected, though they seem divided;

Two lovely berries moulded on one stem;

Like berries bound together on a stem;

So, with two seeming bodies, but one heart;

So, that was us, two bodies but one heart;

Two of the first, like coats in heraldry,

We were two figures on one coat of arms,

Due but to one and crowned with one crest.

A crest belonging to a single person.

And will you rent our ancient love asunder,

And will you throw our long-held love away

To join with men in scorning your poor friend?

By joining with these men to mock your friend?

It is not friendly, 'tis not maidenly:

That isn’t kind, nor is it ladylike:

Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it,

All ladies will all join me chiding you,

Though I alone do feel the injury.

Although it’s only me who feels the pain.

HERMIA

I am amazed at your passionate words.

I’m left in shock by all your angry words.

I scorn you not: it seems that you scorn me.

I am not mocking you; you’re mocking me.

HELENA

Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn,

Have you not made Lysander come to mock me

To follow me and praise my eyes and face?

By following me, praising how I look?

And made your other love, Demetrius,

And made Demetrius, your other lover,

Who even but now did spurn me with his foot,

Who earlier had kicked me in rejection,

To call me goddess, nymph, divine and rare,

To say I was a goddess, nymph, angelic,

Precious, celestial? Wherefore speaks he this

Precious and heavenly? Why would he say that

To her he hates? And wherefore doth Lysander

To somebody he hates? Why would Lysander

Deny your love, so rich within his soul,

Deny he loves you, though he loves you dearly,

And tender me, forsooth, affection,

And then become affectionate with me

But by your setting on, by your consent?

Unless you planned it and you told him to?

What though I be not so in grace as you,

Why do you care I’m not as blessed as you,

So hung upon with love, so fortunate,

Infatuated, and so fortunate,

But miserable most, to love unloved?

But saddened that my love is unrequited?

This you should pity rather than despise.

You ought to show me pity, not resentment.

HERMIA

I understand not what you mean by this.

I do not understand what you are saying.

HELENA

Ay, do, persever, counterfeit sad looks,

Yes, carry on with your fake looks of sadness,

Make mouths upon me when I turn my back;

Then pull a silly face when I’m not looking;

Wink each at other; hold the sweet jest up:

Share winks as you continue with your joke:

This sport, well carried, shall be chronicled.

This jocularity will make the news.

If you have any pity, grace, or manners,

If you have any sympathy or manners,

You would not make me such an argument.

I wouldn’t be the butt of all your jokes.

But fare ye well: 'tis partly my own fault;

But goodbye then: the fault is partly mine;

Which death or absence soon shall remedy.

But death or leaving soon will put this right.

LYSANDER

Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse:

Wait, lovely Helena; let me explain.

My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena!

My love, my life, my soul, sweet Helena!

HELENA

O excellent!

Oh, great!

HERMIA

Sweet, do not scorn her so.

Sweetheart, do not make fun of her.

DEMETRIUS

If she cannot entreat, I can compel.

If she cannot persuade you, I can force you.

LYSANDER

Thou canst compel no more than she entreat:

You cannot force me, nor can she persuade me:

Thy threats have no more strength than her weak prayers.

Your threats are just as weak as her requests.

Helen, I love thee; by my life, I do:

Upon my life, I love you, Helena;

I swear by that which I will lose for thee,

I swear that I will risk my life for you

To prove him false that says I love thee not.

To prove he’s lying, saying I don’t love you.

DEMETRIUS

I say I love thee more than he can do.

I say I love you more than he can love you.

LYSANDER

If thou say so, withdraw, and prove it too.

If you say that, then draw your sword and prove it.

DEMETRIUS

Quick, come!

Come on!

HERMIA

Lysander, whereto tends all this?

Lysander, what’s the meaning of this?

LYSANDER

Away, you Ethiope!

Clear off, you Ethiopian!

DEMETRIUS

No, no; he'll

No; he will

Seem to break loose; take on as you would follow,

Pretend he’s shaking loose to come for me,

But yet come not: you are a tame man, go!

Yet he will never come: clear off, you coward!

LYSANDER

[To HERMIA]

Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! Vile thing, let loose,

Let go of me, you clinging cat! Let go,

Or I will shake thee from me like a serpent!

Or I will shake you from me like a serpent!

HERMIA

Why are you grown so rude? What change is this?

What’s made you be so rude to me? What’s changed?

Sweet love, –

Dear love…

LYSANDER

Thy love! Out, tawny Tartar, out!

Don’t call me love! Get out, brown Tartar!

Out, loathed medicine! Hated potion, hence!

Get out! You’re hated and you’re poisonous!

HERMIA

Do you not jest?

Aren’t you just joking?

HELENA

Yes, sooth; and so do you.

Yes, and so are you.

LYSANDER

Demetrius, I will keep my word with thee.

Demetrius, I’ll fight you as I promised.

DEMETRIUS

I would I had your bond, for I perceive

I wish I had that written down, because

A weak bond holds you: I'll not trust your word.

Weak Hermia holds you back: I do not trust you.

LYSANDER

What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead?

Do you think I should hurt her? Hit her? Kill her?

Although I hate her, I'll not harm her so.

Although I hate her, I’ll not do her harm.

HERMIA

What, can you do me greater harm than hate?

What, can you hurt me more than hating me?

Hate me! Wherefore? O me! What news, my love!

You hate me! Why? Oh my! For why, my love?

Am not I Hermia? Are not you Lysander?

Am I not Hermia? Aren’t you Lysander?

I am as fair now as I was erewhile.

I’m just as beautiful now as before.

Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me:

Last night you loved me; yet at dawn, you left me:

Why, then you left me – O, the gods forbid! –

So have you really left me – God forbid! –

In earnest, shall I say?

For real, shall I say?

LYSANDER

Ay, by my life;

Yes, on my life;

And never did desire to see thee more.

And I don’t want to see you anymore.

Therefore be out of hope, of question, of doubt;

So do not hope, nor question, nor be doubtful;

Be certain, nothing truer; 'tis no jest

You can be certain it’s the truth; it’s no joke

That I do hate thee and love Helena.

That I do hate you and love Helena.

HERMIA

O me!

Oh my!

[To HELENA]

You juggler! You canker-blossom!

You cheat! You flower-eating worm!

You thief of love! What, have you come by night

You thief of love! Did you sneak in at night

And stolen my love's heart from him?

And steal my lover’s heart from him?

HELENA

Fine, i'faith!

Oh, please!

Have you no modesty, no maiden shame,

Have you got any modesty or shame,

No touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear

Or any sense of shyness? Are you striving

Impatient answers from my gentle tongue?

To force retaliatory answers from me?

Fie, fie! You counterfeit, you puppet, you!

Get lost! You cheat, you phoney puppet, you!

HERMIA

Puppet? Why so? Ay, that way goes the game.

A puppet? Why a puppet? Ah, I get it.

Now I perceive that she hath made compare

I think that she’s suggesting that we’re both

Between our statures; she hath urged her height;

A similar size; she brags that she is tall;

And with her personage, her tall personage,

And with her figure, tall and notable,

Her height, forsooth, she hath prevailed with him.

She’s used her height, in truth, to win him over.

And are you grown so high in his esteem;

And have you won his favour by your height,

Because I am so dwarfish and so low?

Because I am so small and very short?

How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak;

How small am I, you painted maypole? Tell me;

How low am I? I am not yet so low

How small am I? I know I’m not so small

But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes.

That my own nails cannot reach your eyes.

HELENA

I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen,

I beg you, gentlemen, although you mock me,

Let her not hurt me: I was never curst;

Don’t let her hurt me: I was never rude;

I have no gift at all in shrewishness;

I am no good at petty arguing;

I am a right maid for my cowardice:

I am a proper coward of a lady:

Let her not strike me. You perhaps may think,

Don’t let her hit me. You perhaps might think,

Because she is something lower than myself,

Because she’s somewhat shorter than myself,

That I can match her.

That I can match her.

HERMIA

Lower! Hark, again.

Shorter! She repeats it.

HELENA

Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me.

Dear Hermia, don’t be so angry with me.

I evermore did love you, Hermia,

I have forever loved you, Hermia,

Did ever keep your counsels, never wronged you;

And kept your secrets safe, and never wronged you;

Save that, in love unto Demetrius,

Except, because I loved Demetrius,

I told him of your stealth unto this wood.

I told him you were sneaking to this wood.

He followed you; for love I followed him;

He followed you; I followed him through love;

But he hath chid me hence and threatened me

But he’s berated me since then and threatened

To strike me, spurn me, nay, to kill me too:

To hit me, shun me, and even to kill me:

And now, so you will let me quiet go,

And now, so you will let me leave in peace,

To Athens will I bear my folly back

I’ll take my foolish self back home to Athens

And follow you no further: let me go:

And follow you no more: so let me go.

You see how simple and how fond I am.

You see how foolish and naïve I’ve been.

HERMIA

Why, get you gone: who is't that hinders you?

Get out of here: who here is trying to stop you?

HELENA

A foolish heart, that I leave here behind.

My foolish heart, that I will leave behind.

HERMIA

What, with Lysander?

What, with Lysander?

HELENA

With Demetrius.

No, Demetrius.

LYSANDER

Be not afraid; she shall not harm thee, Helena.

Don’t be afraid; she will not hurt you, Helena.

DEMETRIUS

No, sir, she shall not, though you take her part.

She won’t, sir, even if you try to help her.

HELENA

O, when she's angry, she is keen and shrewd!

Oh, when she’s angry, she’s a piece of work!

She was a vixen when she went to school;

She was a vicious fox when back in school;

And though she be but little, she is fierce.

And even though she’s little, she is fierce.

HERMIA

'Little' again! Nothing but 'low' and 'little'!

Again, she calls me ‘little’! Always ‘little’!

Why will you suffer her to flout me thus?

Why do you let her fling abuse at me?

Let me come to her.

Now, let me at her.

LYSANDER

Get you gone, you dwarf;

Get away, you dwarf;

You minimus, of hindering knot-grass made;

You tiny thing, made from growth-stunting weed;

You bead, you acorn.

You bead and acorn.

DEMETRIUS

You are too officious

You are trying too hard

In her behalf that scorns your services.

For someone who does not desire your help.

Let her alone: speak not of Helena;

Leave her alone; don’t speak to Helena;

Take not her part; for, if thou dost intend

Don’t take her side; for if it’s your intention

Never so little show of love to her,

To show such little love to Hermia,

Thou shalt aby it.

You’ll pay for it.

LYSANDER

Now she holds me not;

She holds no sway on me;

Now follow, if thou darest, to try whose right,

Now, if you dare, then follow me and fight,

Of thine or mine, is most in Helena.

Just me and you, to win Helena’s heart.

DEMETRIUS

Follow! nay, I'll go with thee, cheek by jole.

Follow! No, I will fight you face-to-face.

HERMIA

You, mistress, all this coil is 'long of you:

All of this trouble is because of you:

Nay, go not back.

No, don’t run off.

HELENA

I will not trust you, I,

I am not going to trust you,

Nor longer stay in your curst company.

Nor stay for any longer with your rudeness.

Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray,

Your hands are swifter than mine in a fight,

My legs are longer though, to run away.

But I’ve got longer legs, so I’ll take flight.

HERMIA

I am amazed, and know not what to say.

I am amazed, and now my lips are tight.

OBERON

This is thy negligence: still thou mistakest,

You’ve messed this up: you’re always making errors,

Or else committ'st thy knaveries wilfully.

Or maybe you commit mistakes on purpose.

PUCK

Believe me, king of shadows, I mistook.

Believe me, king of shadows, it’s my error.

Did not you tell me I should know the man

Did you not tell me I should recognise him

By the Athenian garment he had on?

By the Athenian clothes that he had on?

And so far blameless proves my enterprise,

And so I’m blameless for what I have done,

That I have 'nointed an Athenian's eyes;

Anointing eyes of the Athenian;

And so far am I glad it so did sort

And how it’s all occurred, I’m not complaining,

As this their jangling I esteem a sport.

For all their fighting is so entertaining.

OBERON

Thou see'st these lovers seek a place to fight:

Those lovers search for somewhere they can fight:

Hie therefore, Robin, overcast the night;

So, quickly, Robin, darken out the night;

The starry welkin cover thou anon

Go cover up the shining stars as well

With drooping fog as black as Acheron,

With hazy fog to make it dark as hell,

And lead these testy rivals so astray

And lead these feisty rivals so astray

As one come not within another's way.

That neither comes within the other’s way.

Like to Lysander sometime frame thy tongue,

And mimic how Lysander speaks and sighs

Then stir Demetrius up with bitter wrong;

To wind Demetrius up with nasty lies;

And sometime rail thou like Demetrius;

And sometimes speak just like Demetrius;

And from each other look thou lead them thus,

And from each other you can lead them thus,

Till o'er their brows death-counterfeiting sleep

Till they’re exhausted, and with sleepy head

With leaden legs and batty wings doth creep:

From weary legs, they’ll both sleep like they’re dead.

Then crush this herb into Lysander's eye;

Then crush this herb into Lysander’s eye,

Whose liquor hath this virtuous property,

Whose nectar has the trait to purify,

To take from thence all error with his might,

Removing all the errors of sedation,

And make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.

Reverting him to normal observation.

When they next wake, all this derision

So, when they wake up, all of this confusion

Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision,

Will seem a dream-like, meaningless illusion.

And back to Athens shall the lovers wend,

These lovers back to Athens then will start,

With league whose date till death shall never end.

And love each other until death do part.

Whiles I in this affair do thee employ,

And whilst you’re doing this in my employ,

I'll to my queen and beg her Indian boy;

I’ll beg my queen to give her Indian boy;

And then I will her charmed eye release

The spell upon her eyes I’ll then release

From monster's view, and all things shall be peace.

From seeing monsters, then there will be peace.

PUCK

My fairy lord, this must be done with haste,

My fairy lord, let’s do this right away,

For night's swift dragons cut the clouds full fast,

For dragons swiftly turn the night to day,

And yonder shines Aurora's harbinger;

And over there the morning star is shining,

At whose approach, ghosts, wandering here and there,

Which, when ghosts witness it, they start resigning

Troop home to churchyards: damned spirits all,

To walk back to their churchyards. Evil dead,

That in crossways and floods have burial,

Buried beside the road or riverbed,

Already to their wormy beds are gone;

Already have returned to wormy grave.

For fear lest day should look their shames upon,

For fear the day might see how they behave,

They wilfully themselves exile from light

They choose to hide themselves out of the light

And must for aye consort with black-browed night.

And must remain forever in the night.

OBERON

But we are spirits of another sort:

But we are spirits made a different way:

I with the morning's love have oft made sport,

For often I’ve enjoyed the break of day,

And, like a forester, the groves may tread,

And, like a woodman, through the trees I wander

Even till the eastern gate, all fiery-red,

Until the red horizon, glowing yonder,

Opening on Neptune with fair blessed beams,

Forms sunbeams on the ocean to behold,

Turns into yellow gold his salt green streams.

And turns the salt-green water into gold.

But, notwithstanding, haste; make no delay:

However, hurry up, do not delay:

We may effect this business yet ere day.

We have to get this done before it’s day.

PUCK

Up and down, up and down,

Over here, over there,

I will lead them up and down:

I will lead them everywhere:

I am feared in field and town:

In field and town, I can scare:

Goblin, lead them up and down.

Goblin, lead them everywhere.

Here comes one.

Here comes one.

LYSANDER

Where art thou, proud Demetrius? Speak thou now.

Demetrius, where are you? Speak to me.

PUCK

[mimicking Demetrius]

Here, villain; drawn and ready. Where art thou?

I’m here, to fight you. Stand where I can see.

LYSANDER

I will be with thee straight.

I’ll be there right away.

PUCK

[mimicking Demetrius]

Follow me, then,

Follow me, then,

To plainer ground.

To flatter land.

DEMETRIUS

Lysander! Speak again:

Lysander! Speak again:

Thou runaway, thou coward, art thou fled?

You coward; have you run off in a rush?

Speak! In some bush? Where dost thou hide thy head?

Speak up! Have you gone hiding in a bush?

PUCK

[mimicking Lysander]

Thou coward, art thou bragging to the stars,

You are the coward! Do you brag of might

Telling the bushes that thou look'st for wars,

By telling bushes that you’d like to fight,

And wilt not come? Come, recreant; come, thou child;

But yet you don’t show up? You wretched child;

I'll whip thee with a rod: he is defiled

I’ll fight you with a stick: I’d be reviled

That draws a sword on thee.

For fighting with a sword.

DEMETRIUS

Yea, art thou there?

Yeah, are you near?

PUCK

[mimicking Lysander]

Follow my voice: we'll try no manhood here.

Follow my voice: we won’t start fighting here.

LYSANDER

He goes before me and still dares me on:

He rushes off but still he eggs me on:

When I come where he calls, then he is gone.

When I reach where he calls from, he is gone.

The villain is much lighter-heeled than I:

That villain is far nimbler than me:

I followed fast, but faster he did fly;

I followed fast, but faster did he flee;

That fallen am I in dark uneven way,

I’ve fallen on this dark and bumpy way

And here will rest me.

And I will rest here.

[Lies down]

Come, thou gentle day!

Quickly, turn to day!

For if but once thou show me thy grey light,

For once there is some light to put to use,

I'll find Demetrius and revenge this spite.

I’ll get Demetrius for this abuse.

[Sleeps]

PUCK

[mimicking Lysander]

Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not?

Ha! Coward, how come you were a no-show?

DEMETRIUS

Abide me, if thou darest; for well I wot

Wait there for me, if you dare; for I know

Thou runn'st before me, shifting every place,

You’re running on ahead from place to place,

And darest not stand, nor look me in the face.

And dare not stop to look me in the face.

Where art thou now?

Where are you now?

PUCK

[mimicking Lysander]

Come hither: I am here.

Come on: I’m over here.

DEMETRIUS

Nay, then, thou mock'st me. Thou shalt buy this dear,

You’re making fun of me. You will pay dear

If ever I thy face by daylight see:

If ever I do see you in the day:

Now, go thy way. Faintness constraineth me

Now, clear off. Tiredness will make me stay

To measure out my length on this cold bed.

And lie down here to make a chilly bed.

By day's approach look to be visited.

At dawn, be ready to be visited.

[Lies down and sleeps]

HELENA

O weary night, O long and tedious night,

Oh, tedious and never-ending night,

Abate thy hour! Shine comforts from the east,

Enough already! Dawn, come to the east,

That I may back to Athens by daylight,

Then I’ll return to Athens in the light,

From these that my poor company detest:

Escaping from these folk who like me least.

And sleep, that sometimes shuts up sorrow's eye,

And sleep, that often takes away one’s sorrow,

Steal me awhile from mine own company.

Take me away from me until tomorrow.

[Lies down and sleeps]

PUCK

Yet but three? Come one more;

Only three? There is one more;

Two of both kinds make up four.

Two girls, two boys make up four.

Here she comes, curst and sad:

Here she comes, cursed and sad:

Cupid is a knavish lad,

Cupid is a crafty lad,

Thus to make poor females mad.

For making these poor ladies mad.

HERMIA

Never so weary, never so in woe,

I’ve never been so tired and so miffed

Bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers,

All drenched in dew and ripped apart by spikes

I can no further crawl, no further go;

I can’t go further on, I cannot shift;

My legs can keep no pace with my desires.

My legs won’t action what my body likes.

Here will I rest me till the break of day.

I’ll rest here till it is the end of night.

Heavens shield Lysander, if they mean a fray!

May God protect Lysander if they fight!

[Lies down and sleeps]

PUCK

On the ground

On the ground,

Sleep sound:

Sleeping sound:

I'll apply

I’ll apply

To your eye,

To your eye,

Gentle lover, remedy.

A potion that will rectify.

[Squeezing the juice on LYSANDER's eyes]

When thou wakest,

When you wake,

Thou takest

You will take

True delight

True delight

In the sight

In the sight

Of thy former lady's eye:

Of your former lady’s eye:

And the country proverb known,

And that country proverb known

That every man should take his own,

Says that man shall have his own,

In your waking shall be shown:

And, waking up, this will be shown:

Jack shall have Jill;

‘Jack will have Jill

Nought shall go ill;

There’ll be no ill;

The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well.

The man will have his girl again, and all will turn out well.’