A Midsummer Night's Dream – Act 4 Scene 1

TITANIA

Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,

Come here and sit down on this bed of flowers,

While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,

While I caress your cheeks that I adore,

And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,

And stick sweet roses in your hair for hours,

And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.

And kiss your massive ears, my love amour.

BOTTOM

Where's Peaseblossom?

Where’s Peaseblossom?

PEASEBLOSSOM

Ready.

I’m here.

BOTTOM

Scratch my head Peaseblossom. Where's Mounsieur

Scratch my head, Peaseblossom. Where’s Monsieur

Cobweb?

Cobweb?

COBWEB

Ready.

I’m here.

BOTTOM

Mounsieur Cobweb, good mounsieur, get you your

Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, pick your

weapons in your hand, and kill me a red-hipped

weapons up in your hand and kill me a red-striped

humble-bee on the top of a thistle; and, good

bumblebee on top of a thistle; and, good

mounsieur, bring me the honey-bag. Do not fret

monsieur, bring me its bag of honey. Don’t wear

yourself too much in the action, mounsieur; and,

yourself out too much doing the task though, monsieur; and,

good mounsieur, have a care the honey-bag break not;

good monsieur, be careful not to break the bag of honey;

I would be loath to have you overflown with a

I’d hate to see you covered in a bag of

honey-bag, signior. Where's Mounsieur Mustardseed?

honey, sir. Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed?

MUSTARDSEED

Ready.

I’m here.

BOTTOM

Give me your neaf, Mounsieur Mustardseed. Pray you,

Give me your fist, Monsieur Mustardseed. Please,

leave your courtesy, good mounsieur.

there’s no need to be so courteous, good monsieur.

MUSTARDSEED

What's your Will?

What would you like?

BOTTOM

Nothing, good mounsieur, but to help Cavalery

Nothing, good monsieur, except for you to help Cavalier

Cobweb to scratch. I must to the barber's, monsieur;

Cobweb scratch my head. I must go to the barber’s, monsieur,

for methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face; and I

because I think I have a wonderfully hairy face; and as I’m

am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me,

such a sensitive ass, if my hair starts tickling me,

I must scratch.

I have to scratch it.

TITANIA

What, wilt thou hear some music, my sweet love?

Well, would you like to hear some music, my love?

BOTTOM

I have a reasonable good ear in music. Let's have

I have a decent ear for music. Let’s have someone play

the tongs and the bones.

the sticks and clappers.

TITANIA

Or say, sweet love, what thou desirest to eat.

Tell me, my darling, what you’d like to eat.

BOTTOM

Truly, a peck of provender: I could munch your good

In truth, I’d like two gallons of animal feed. Or I could eat some

dry oats. Methinks I have a great desire to a bottle

of your dry oats. Actually, I’d really like to have a bundle

of hay: good hay, sweet hay, hath no fellow.

of hay: nothing quite matches good, sweet hay.

TITANIA

I have a venturous fairy that shall seek

My fairy, who’s adventurous, will find

The squirrel's hoard, and fetch thee new nuts.

A squirrel’s stash of nuts and bring you some.

BOTTOM

I had rather have a handful or two of dried peas.

I’d rather have a handful or two of dried peas.

But, I pray you, let none of your people stir me: I

But, I tell you, don’t let any of your people disturb me: I’ve

have an exposition of sleep come upon me.

become awash with tiredness and need to have a sleep.

TITANIA

Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.

Then sleep, and I will wrap you in my arms.

Fairies, begone, and be all ways away.

Fairies, clear off and don’t come back again.

[EXEUNT FAIRIES]

So doth the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle

Just like the woodbine wraps the honeysuckle,

Gently entwist; the female ivy so

I’ll wrap my arms around you; ivy, too,

Enrings the barky fingers of the elm.

Enwraps itself around an elm tree’s bark.

O, how I love thee! How I dote on thee!

Oh, how I love you! How I dote on you!

OBERON

[Advancing]

Welcome, good Robin. See'st thou this sweet sight?

Welcome, dear Robin. Have you seen this sweet sight?

Her dotage now I do begin to pity:

I’m starting to feel pity for her fondness,

For, meeting her of late behind the wood,

For recently I met her in the wood

Seeking sweet favours from this hateful fool,

As she was picking flowers for this dumbass,

I did upbraid her and fall out with her;

And I lambasted her, and we fell out;

For she his hairy temples then had rounded

Because around his hairy head she’d laid

With a coronet of fresh and fragrant flowers;

A crown of fresh and sweetly smelling flowers;

And that same dew, which sometime on the buds

And all the dew drops that drip from the buds

Was wont to swell like round and orient pearls,

And tend to grow to look like far-east pearls,

Stood now within the pretty flowerets' eyes

All now dripped from the centre of the flowers

Like tears that did their own disgrace bewail.

Like tears that represented their disgrace.

When I had at my pleasure taunted her

When I had teased her to my heart’s content

And she in mild terms begged my patience,

And she had begged that I desist with it,

I then did ask of her her changeling child;

I asked she cede her Indian boy to me,

Which straight she gave me, and her fairy sent

Which she gave straightaway, and sent her fairy

To bear him to my bower in fairy land.

To take him to my room in fairy land.

And now I have the boy, I will undo

And now I have the boy, I will remove

This hateful imperfection of her eyes:

The spell that I have cast upon her eyes:

And, gentle Puck, take this transformed scalp

And, gentle Puck, remove the donkey’s head

From off the head of this Athenian swain;

From off the head of this Athenian chap,

That, he awaking when the other do,

So when he wakes up when the others wake,

May all to Athens back again repair

They’ll all begin their journey back to Athens

And think no more of this night's accidents

And merely think of last night’s incidents

But as the fierce vexation of a dream.

As nothing more than a surreal dream.

But first I will release the fairy queen.

But first I will release the fairy queen.

Be as thou wast wont to be;

Go back to how you used to be

See as thou wast wont to see:

And see things like you used to see:

Dian's bud o'er Cupid's flower

Diana’s sap beats Cupid’s flower

Hath such force and blessed power.

With more force and holy power.

Now, my Titania; wake you, my sweet queen.

Now, my Titania; wake up, my sweet queen.

TITANIA

My Oberon! What visions have I seen!

My Oberon! What things I have just seen!

Methought I was enamoured of an ass.

I thought I was besotted with a donkey.

OBERON

There lies your love.

Your lover’s lying there.

TITANIA

How came these things to pass?

Why’s this so wonky?

O, how mine eyes do loathe his visage now!

Oh, how my eyes detest the sight of him now!

OBERON

Silence awhile. Robin, take off this head.

Be quiet now. Robin, remove his head.

Titania, music call; and strike more dead

Titania, order tunes; make them seem dead,

Than common sleep of all these five the sense.

These five, by sleeping heavier than normal.

TITANIA

Music, ho! Music, such as charmeth sleep!

Strike up the music! Tunes to make them snore!

[Music, still]

PUCK

Now, when thou wakest, with thine own fool's eyes peep.

Now, when you wake, you’ll see things as before.

OBERON

Sound, music! Come, my queen, take hands with me,

Play music! Come, my queen and take my hand

And rock the ground whereon these sleepers be.

And dance around these sleepers on the land.

Now thou and I are new in amity,

Now you and I both newly understand

And will to-morrow midnight solemnly

Tomorrow night, at midnight, it is planned

Dance in Duke Theseus' house triumphantly,

We’ll both dance with Duke Theseus to the band,

And bless it to all fair prosperity:

And bless him that his marriage will withstand;

There shall the pairs of faithful lovers be

These faithful lovers all will be there, and

Wedded, with Theseus, all in jollity.

They’ll wed, with Theseus, joining hand-in-hand.

PUCK

Fairy king, attend, and mark:

Fairy king, wait there, and hark:

I do hear the morning lark.

I can hear the morning lark.

OBERON

Then, my queen, in silence sad,

Then, my queen, in silent plight

Trip we after the night's shade:

We’ll trace the darkness of the night:

We the globe can compass soon,

We can pass around the globe

Swifter than the wandering moon.

Faster than the moonlight’s strobe.

TITANIA

Come, my lord, and in our flight

Come, my lord, and in our flight

Tell me how it came this night

Tell me what occurred tonight

That I sleeping here was found

That I, asleep, right here was found

With these mortals on the ground.

With these humans on the ground.

[EXEUNT]

[Horns winded within]

THESEUS

Go, one of you, find out the forester;

Go, one of you, and find the forest ranger;

For now our observation is performed;

We’ve now completed May Day observations;

And since we have the vaward of the day,

And as we all can see the start of day,

My love shall hear the music of my hounds.

My love shall hear the sweet sound of my dogs.

Uncouple in the western valley; let them go:

Unleash the hounds into the western valley;

Dispatch, I say, and find the forester.

Now go and find the ranger, like I said.

[EXIT AN ATTENDANT]

We will, fair queen, up to the mountain's top,

My gorgeous queen, we’ll go atop the mountain

And mark the musical confusion

And listen to cacophonous sounding music

Of hounds and echo in conjunction.

Of barking dogs that echo off each other.

HIPPOLYTA

I was with Hercules and Cadmus once,

I was with Hercules and Cadmus once,

When in a wood of Crete they bayed the bear

When in a wood in Crete they trapped a bear

With hounds of Sparta: never did I hear

With Spartan hunting dogs: I’ve never heard

Such gallant chiding: for, besides the groves,

Such fearless barking: all around the forest,

The skies, the fountains, every region near

The skies, the fountains, everywhere nearby

Seemed all one mutual cry: I never heard

Seemed like it barked in harmony. I’ve not heard

So musical a discord, such sweet thunder.

Such wild music, such a thunderous sound.

THESEUS

My hounds are bred out of the Spartan kind,

My dogs are thoroughbreds of Spartan hounds,

So flewed, so sanded, and their heads are hung

So fleshy-jawed, sand-coloured, and their heads

With ears that sweep away the morning dew;

Have ears that brush the dew off morning grass;

Crook-kneed, and dew-lapped like Thessalian bulls;

They’ve bended knees, and neck-flaps like a bull;

Slow in pursuit, but matched in mouth like bells,

Although slow in the chase, their bark is bell-like,

Each under each. A cry more tuneable

Each in a different pitch. A sweeter sound

Was never hollered to, nor cheered with horn,

Was never sung nor played upon the horn

In Crete, in Sparta, nor in Thessaly:

In Crete, in Sparta, nor in Thessaly:

Judge when you hear. But, soft! What nymphs are these?

Judge when you hear. But, wait! Who are these youngsters?

EGEUS

My lord, this is my daughter here asleep;

My lord, this is my daughter sleeping here;

And this, Lysander; this Demetrius is;

This is Lysander; this, Demetrius;

This Helena, old Nedar's Helena:

And this is Nedar’s daughter, Helena:

I wonder of their being here together.

I wonder what they’re doing here together.

THESEUS

No doubt they rose up early to observe

I’m sure they got up early to observe

The rite of May, and hearing our intent,

The May Day rites, and hearing of our plans,

Came here in grace our solemnity.

They came to gracefully pay their respects.

But speak, Egeus; is not this the day

But, say, Egeus, isn’t it the day

That Hermia should give answer of her choice?

That Hermia should tell us of her choice?

EGEUS

It is, my lord.

It is, my lord.

THESEUS

Go, bid the huntsmen wake them with their horns.

Then have the huntsmen blow their horns to wake them.

[HORNS AND SHOUT WITHIN. LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, AND HERMIA WAKE AND START UP]

Good morrow, friends. Saint Valentine is past:

Good morning, friends. It’s now past Valentine’s Day:

Begin these wood-birds but to couple now?

But have you love-birds all just got together?

LYSANDER

Pardon, my lord.

I’m sorry, sir.

THESEUS

I pray you all, stand up.

Stand up, the lot of you.

I know you two are rival enemies:

I know you two are bitter enemies:

How comes this gentle concord in the world,

What’s caused this peace agreement in the world

That hatred is so far from jealousy,

Whereby your hate and jealousy have left

To sleep by hate, and fear no enmity?

So you can sleep beside the one you hate?

LYSANDER

My lord, I shall reply amazedly,

My lord, I shall reply in some amazement,

Half sleep, half waking: but as yet, I swear,

Half sleeping, half awake. But now, I promise,

I cannot truly say how I came here;

I cannot say for sure how I arrived here;

But, as I think, – for truly would I speak,

But I believe – for I will speak the truth,

And now do I bethink me, so it is, –

And, come to think of it, this is the truth –

I came with Hermia hither: our intent

I came with Hermia. It was our plan

Was to be gone from Athens, where we might,

To get away from Athens so that we

Without the peril of the Athenian law.

Would not be threatened by Athenian law.

EGEUS

Enough, enough, my lord; you have enough:

I’ve heard enough, my lord; you’ve heard enough:

I beg the law, the law, upon his head.

I want the full force of the law upon him.

They would have stolen away; they would, Demetrius,

They would have snuck away; they would, Demetrius,

Thereby to have defeated you and me,

And doing so, they would cheat you and me,

You of your wife and me of my consent,

Depriving you your wife, and my permission

Of my consent that she should be your wife.

Whereby I would permit she’d be your wife.

DEMETRIUS

My lord, fair Helen told me of their stealth,

My lord, Helena told me of their trick

Of this their purpose hither to this wood;

To sneak out here together to this wood;

And I in fury hither followed them,

And, furious, I chose to follow them,

Fair Helena in fancy following me.

Whilst lovely Helena chased after me.

But, my good lord, I wot not by what power, –

But, my good lord, I don’t know what has caused it –

But by some power it is, – my love to Hermia,

But something’s done it – for my love for Hermia

Melted as the snow, seems to me now

Has melted like the snow, and now it seems

As the remembrance of an idle gaud

Much like a little trinket I remembered

Which in my childhood I did dote upon;

From childhood that once I used to love;

And all the faith, the virtue of my heart,

For now my dedication and my heart,

The object and the pleasure of mine eye,

The object and the apple of my eye,

Is only Helena. To her, my lord,

Is solely Helena. My lord, to her

Was I betrothed ere I saw Hermia:

I was engaged, prior to meeting Hermia.

But, like in sickness, did I loathe this food;

But like, when sick, I hated her like food;

But, as in health, come to my natural taste,

But now I’m healthy, and my taste’s restored,

Now I do wish it, love it, long for it,

I wish for her, I love her, long for her,

And will for evermore be true to it.

And I’ll be true to her for evermore.

THESEUS

Fair lovers, you are fortunately met:

Sweet lovers, you are lucky that you’ve met:

Of this discourse we more will hear anon.

And we’ll hear more about this later on.

Egeus, I will overbear your will;

Egeus, I will overrule your wishes;

For in the temple by and by with us

For later on with us, within the temple,

These couples shall eternally be knit:

These couples shall be wed eternally;

And, for the morning now is something worn,

And as the morning now is nearly over,

Our purposed hunting shall be set aside.

I’m cancelling our plans to go out hunting.

Away with us to Athens; three and three,

Let’s leave for Athens; three men and three wives,

We'll hold a feast in great solemnity.

Will hold a feast to celebrate our lives.

Come, Hippolyta.

Let’s go, Hippolyta.

DEMETRIUS

These things seem small and undistinguishable,

All that’s occurred seems small and indistinct,

Like far-off mountains turned into clouds.

Like mountains in the distance look like clouds.

HERMIA

Methinks I see these things with parted eye,

To me, it’s like my eyes are out of focus,

When every thing seems double.

And everything is doubled.

HELENA

So methinks:

I’m the same.

And I have found Demetrius like a jewel,

And, like a jewel, I’ve found Demetrius;

Mine own, and not mine own.

He’s mine but owned by someone else.

DEMETRIUS

Are you sure

Are you sure

That we are awake? It seems to me

That we’re awake? Because it seems to me

That yet we sleep, we dream. Do not you think

That we are sleeping, dreaming. Don’t you think

The duke was here, and bid us follow him?

The duke was here, and ordered us to follow?

HERMIA

Yea; and my father.

Yes, and my father.

HELENA

And Hippolyta.

And Hippolyta.

LYSANDER

And he did bid us follow to the temple.

And he said we should follow to the temple.

DEMETRIUS

Why, then, we are awake: let's follow him

Well then we are awake: let’s follow him

And by the way let us recount our dreams.

And on the way, we can retell our dreams.

BOTTOM

[Awaking]

When my cue comes, call me, and I will

When it’s my cue to come on, give me a shout and I will

answer: my next is, 'Most fair Pyramus.' Heigh-ho!

answer: my next line is, ‘Gorgeous Pyramus’. Hey-ho!

Peter Quince! Flute, the bellows-mender! Snout,

Peter Quince! Flute, the bellows-mender! Snout,

the tinker! Starveling! God's my life, stolen

the tinker! Starveling! Upon my life, they’ve all gone off

hence, and left me asleep! I have had a most rare

from here and left me asleep! I had the most peculiar

vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to

vision. I’ve had a dream beyond the ability of man to

say what dream it was: man is but an ass, if he go

say what the dream was: a man would be an ass if he goes

about to expound this dream. Methought I was – there

around elaborating on this dream. I thought I was… there is

is no man can tell what. Methought I was, – and

no one who can tell me what I thought I was. I thought I was…

methought I had, – but man is but a patched fool, if

I thought I had… but a man would be a jester if

he will offer to say what methought I had. The eye

he tried to say what I thought I had. The eyes

of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not

of man haven’t heard, the ears of man haven’t

seen, man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue

seen, a man’s hand never tasted, his tongue

to conceive, nor his heart to report, what my dream

never felt, nor his heart has revealed, what my dream

was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of

was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad about

this dream: it shall be called Bottom's Dream,

this dream: it will be called ‘Bottom’s Dream’,

because it hath no bottom; and I will sing it in the

because it doesn’t have a bottom; and I will sing it towards the

latter end of a play, before the duke:

end of the play, in front of the duke:

peradventure, to make it the more gracious, I shall

or maybe, to make it sound more formal, I will

sing it at her death.

sing it when Thisbe dies.