The Tempest – Act 2 Scene 2

CALIBAN

All the infections that the sun sucks up

May all infections rising in the air

From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make him

From boggy swamps taint Prospero and make him

By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me

Be inch-by-inch diseased! His spirits hear me

And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch,

But I just have to curse him. They won’t pinch me;

Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i' the mire,

Or scare me dressed as urchins; shove me in mud;

Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark

Nor, like a flickering flame lost in the darkness,

Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but

Mislead me from my path, unless he tells them;

For every trifle are they set upon me;

But they attack for every minor thing.

Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me

Sometimes they are like apes that gurn and chatter

And after bite me, then like hedgehogs which

And bite at me; and then like hedgehogs that

Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount

Lie down in front of me when walking barefoot

Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I

And prick me when I stand on them; and sometimes

All wound with adders who with cloven tongues

I’m all tied up by adder snakes with forked tongues

Do hiss me into madness.

That hiss me into madness.

[ENTER TRINCULO]

Lo, now, lo!

Oh, look out!

Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me

Here comes one of his spirits now to taunt me

For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;

For bringing wood in slowly. I’ll lie flat here;

Perchance he will not mind me.

Perhaps he will not bother me.

TRINCULO

Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off

There are no shrubs or bushes here to fend off

any weather at all, and another storm brewing;

any type of weather, and there is another storm brewing;

I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black

I hear it whistling in the wind. And, over there, that black

cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul

cloud, that huge one, looks like a dirty

bombard that would shed his liquor. If it

jug that will tip its contents out. If it

should thunder as it did before, I know not

starts to thunder like it did earlier, I don’t know

where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot

where I can hide: and that cloud over there has no

choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we

choice but to bucket it down. What have we

here? A man or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish:

here? Is it a man or a fish? Is it dead or alive? It’s a fish:

he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-

he stinks like a fish; a very old and rotting fish-

like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-

type stink; a kind of stale dried-and-salted

John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,

cod. What a strange fish! If I was in England now,

as once I was, and had but this fish painted,

as once I was, and only had a painting of this fish,

not a holiday fool there but would give a piece

there’s not a silly fool there who wouldn’t give a

of silver: there would this monster make a

silver coin to see it: in England, this monster would make me

man; any strange beast there makes a man:

a fortune; any strange creature makes a man rich in England,

when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame

for they won’t give a small Dutch coin to help a lame

beggar, they will lazy out ten to see a dead

beggar, but they’ll willingly give ten coins to visit a freak

Indian. Legged like a man and his fins like

show. He has legs like a man and fish fins for

arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose

arms! By gosh, he’s warm! I’m now going to change

my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish,

my opinion, which I no longer hold: this isn’t a fish,

but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a

it’s an islander that has recently been struck by a

thunderbolt.

thunderbolt.

[THUNDER]

Alas, the storm is come again! My best way is to

Oh no, the storm is returning! The best thing to do is to

creep under his gaberdine; there is no other

crawl under his woollen cloak; there is nowhere else

shelter hereabouts: misery acquaints a man with

to shelter around here. When the chips are down, a man

strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the

can end up in bed with strange people. I will hide under here

dregs of the storm be past.

until the worst of the storm has passed.

STEPHANO

I shall no more to sea, to sea,

‘I’ll never go to sea again,

Here shall I die ashore –

I’ll die upon this shore…’

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's

This is a wretched song to sing at a man’s

funeral: well, here's my comfort.

funeral: well, I’ll comfort myself with a drink.

[Drinks]

[Sings]

The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,

‘The master, the deckhand, the bosun and I,

The gunner and his mate

The gunner and his mate

Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,

Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,

But none of us cared for Kate;

But none of us cared for Kate;

For she had a tongue with a tang,

For she spoke cruelly, with a tang,

Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!

And yelled at a sailor, ‘Go hang!’

She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,

She hated the smell of a ship’s tar and pitch,

Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch:

But slept with a tailor when she had an itch.

Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

So, head out to sea, boys, and let her go hang!’

This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.

This is a wretched song too; but I’ll cheer myself up with a drink.

[Drinks]

CALIBAN

Do not torment me: Oh!

Don’t torture me! Oh!

STEPHANO

What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put

What’s the matter? Are there devils here? Are you trying

tricks upon's with savages and men of Ind, ha? I

to curse me with spells from savages and men from India? I

have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your

haven’t survived drowning to now be frightened of your

four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as

four legs; for it’s been said, ‘A real man that

ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground;

walks on four legs can’t force someone out of the way’;

and it shall be said so again while Stephano

and they’ll say it again whilst me, Stephano,

breathes at's nostrils.

is still breathing.

CALIBAN

The spirit torments me; Oh!

The spirit is tormenting me; oh!

STEPHANO

This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who

This is some kind of monster from the island that

hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil

has got, as far as I can tell, a fever. How on earth

should he learn our language? I will give him some

has he learnt our language? I will help him, if only

relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him

because he can speak our language. If I can make him better

and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he's a

and tame him and get him to Naples with me, he’s a

present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's leather.

fine present for any emperor that has ever worn leather shoes.

CALIBAN

Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.

Don’t torture me, please; I’ll bring the wood home faster.

STEPHANO

He's in his fit now and does not talk after the

He’s having a fit now and isn’t talking

wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have

wisely. I’ll give him a drink from my bottle: if he has

never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his

never drunk wine before, it’ll go some way to curing his

fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will

fit. If I can make him better and tame him, I will take

not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that

a fair price to see him; whoever owns him will make lots of

hath him, and that soundly.

money from him, that’s for sure.

CALIBAN

Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I

You’ve barely hurt me yet; but I know you will soon, I can

know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.

tell by the way you’re shaking. You’re under Prospero’s spell.

STEPHANO

Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that

Come along now, open your mouth; as the saying goes,

which will give language to you, cat: open your

‘Some booze can make a cat talk’. Open your

mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you,

mouth; this will stop you shaking, I assure you,

and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend:

and it’s effective. You won’t recognise your friends when drunk.

open your chaps again.

Open your mouth again.

TRINCULO

I should know that voice: it should be – but he is

I recognise that voice: it should be him…but he has

drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!

drowned. So I must be surrounded by devils. God help me!

STEPHANO

Four legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!

Four legs and two different voices: an intricate monster!

His forward voice now is to speak well of his

Its front voice speaks fondly of his friend;

friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches

but his rear voice slags him off

and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will

and blames him. If all the wine in my bottle

recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I

will help him, I will cure his fever. Come on. Amen! I

will pour some in thy other mouth.

will pour some in your other mouth.

TRINCULO

Stephano!

Stephano!

STEPHANO

Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is

Is your other mouth calling me? God have mercy! This is

a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no

a devil and not a monster. I will leave him; I will not

long spoon.

dine with a devil.

TRINCULO

Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and

Stephano! If you are Stephano, touch me and

speak to me: for I am Trinculo – be not afeard – thy

speak to me, for I am Trinculo. Don’t be afraid; I am your

good friend Trinculo.

good friend Trinculo.

STEPHANO

If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee

If you are Trinculo, come forward: I’ll pull you

by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs,

by these shorter legs. If any of these legs are Trinculo’s,

these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How

it’ll be these ones. You actually are Trinculo! How

camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? Can

did you end up being the dung of this monstrosity? Can

he vent Trinculos?

he poo Trinculos?

TRINCULO

I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But

I thought that he’d been killed by lightning. But

art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art

didn’t you drown, Stephano? I hope that now you are

not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me

not drowned. Has the storm blown through? I hid myself

under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of

under this dead monstrosity’s woollen cloak from fear of

the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O

the storm. And are you alive, Stephano? Oh

Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scaped!

Stephano, two men of Naples have survived!

STEPHANO

Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.

Please, don’t spin me around; my stomach can’t take it.

CALIBAN

[Aside]

These be fine things, an if they be not sprites.

These are fine things, assuming they’re not spirits.

That's a brave god and bears celestial liquor.

He is a strong god, bringing magic liquor.

I will kneel to him.

I will pray to him.

STEPHANO

How didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither?

How did you escape? How did you get here?

Swear by this bottle how thou camest hither. I

Swear on this bottle of wine how you got here. I

escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors

escaped on a barrel of wine that the sailors

heaved o'erboard, by this bottle; which I made of

threw overboard, I swear on this bottle, which I made from

the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was

the bark of a tree with my own hands since I have

cast ashore.

been ashore.

CALIBAN

I'll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject;

I’ll swear on that bottle that I will be your true servant;

for the liquor is not earthly.

for that liquor isn’t from this earth.

STEPHANO

Here; swear then how thou escapedst.

Here; now explain how you survived.

TRINCULO

Swum ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a

I swam ashore, man, like a duck. I can swim like a

duck, I'll be sworn.

duck, I promise you.

STEPHANO

Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a

Here, kiss this bottle, like it’s a bible. Even though you can swim

duck, thou art made like a goose.

like a duck, you are as daft as a goose.

TRINCULO

O Stephano. Hast any more of this?

Oh Stephano, have you got any more of this wine?

STEPHANO

The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the

I have a whole barrel, man: my cellar is in a rock by the

sea-side where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf!

seaside where my wine is hidden. What’s up, monstrosity!

How does thine ague?

How is your fever?

CALIBAN

Hast thou not dropped from heaven?

Haven’t you fallen to earth from heaven?

STEPHANO

Out o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i'

I fell from the moon, I assure you: I was the man in

the moon when time was.

the moon some time ago.

CALIBAN

I have seen thee in her and I do adore thee:

I have seen you in the moon, and I love you:

My mistress showed me thee and thy dog and thy bush.

My mistress showed me you, your dog, and sticks.

STEPHANO

Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish

Come on, swear on that by kissing the bible-bottle. I’ll fill

it anon with new contents swear.

it up with more wine soon, I swear.

TRINCULO

By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!

Well, goodness me, this monster’s gullible!

I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The man i'

I was scared of him! He’s a pathetic monster! The man in

the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well

the moon! A poor and gullible monster! That’s a

drawn, monster, in good sooth!

decent swig of wine, monster, in truth!

CALIBAN

I'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island;

I’ll show you every fertile inch of the island;

And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.

And I will kiss your feet: please, be my god.

TRINCULO

By this light, a most perfidious and drunken

Now I can see he’s a deceitful and drunken

monster! When 's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.

monster! When his god is asleep, he’ll steal his bottle.

CALIBAN

I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.

I’ll kiss your feet; I’ll promise to be faithful.

STEPHANO

Come on then; down, and swear.

Come on then; kneel down and swear.

TRINCULO

I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed

I will laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed

monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my

monster. A most infected monster! I could find it in my

heart to beat him, –

heart to hit him…

STEPHANO

Come, kiss.

Come on, kiss my feet.

TRINCULO

But that the poor monster's in drink: an

But the poor monster is inebriated. He’s

abominable monster!

a wretched monster!

CALIBAN

I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;

I’ll show you water springs; I’ll pick you berries;

I'll fish for thee and get thee wood enough.

I’ll fish for you and gather up your wood.

A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!

I curse that tyrant whom I work for now!

I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,

I’ll not bring wood for him; I’ll follow you,

Thou wondrous man.

You wondrous man.

TRINCULO

A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a

A quite pathetic monster, being in awe of

Poor drunkard!

A drunken fool!

CALIBAN

I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;

Please, let me take you where you’ll find some crabs;

And I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts;

And with my long nails, I’ll dig up some groundnuts;

Show thee a jay's nest and instruct thee how

I’ll take you to a jay’s nest, and I’ll teach you

To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee

To catch a nimble monkey; I will take you

To clustering filberts and sometimes I'll get thee

To find some hazelnuts, and maybe get you

Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

Some seabirds off the rock. Will you come with me?

STEPHANO

I prithee now, lead the way without any more

Now please, lead the way without any more

talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company

chitchat. Trinculo, the king and everyone else on board

else being drowned, we will inherit here: here;

have drowned, so this land is ours. Here;

bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by

carry my bottle. Good man Trinculo, we’ll fill it up again

and by again.

very soon.

CALIBAN

[Sings drunkenly]

Farewell master; farewell, farewell!

Goodbye master; goodbye, goodbye!

TRINCULO

A howling monster: a drunken monster!

A howling monster! A drunken monster!

CALIBAN

No more dams I'll make for fish

I won’t build dams again to fish

Nor fetch in firing

Nor fetch firewood

At requiring;

When told I should;

Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish

Nor scrape a plate, nor wash a dish

'Ban, 'Ban, Cacaliban

‘Ban, ‘Ban, Ca-Caliban

Has a new master: get a new man.

Has a new master, find a new man.

Freedom, hey-day! Hey-day, freedom! Freedom,

Freedom, hey-hey! Hey-hey, freedom! Freedom,

hey-day, freedom!

hey-hey, freedom!

STEPHANO

O brave monster! Lead the way.

Oh, lovely monster! Lead the way.