Henry V – Act 3 Scene 7

CONSTABLE

Tut! I have the best armour of the world. Would it were day!

Nonsense! I have the world’s best armour. I wish it were day!

ORLEANS

You have an excellent armour; but let my horse

You have excellent armour, but give my horse

have his due.

some credit.

CONSTABLE

It is the best horse of Europe.

It is the best horse in Europe.

ORLEANS

Will it never be morning?

Will it never be morning?

DAUPHIN

My lord of Orleans, and my lord high constable, you

My lord of Orleans, and my lord high constable, are you really

talk of horse and armour?

talking about horses and armour?

ORLEANS

You are as well provided of both as any prince in the world.

You are blessed with both better than any prince in the world.

DAUPHIN

What a long night is this! I will not change my

What a long night this is! I will not swap my

horse with any that treads but on four pasterns.

horse with any other that walks on four legs.

Ca, ha! He bounds from the earth, as if his

There he goes! He bounces across the ground as if his

entrails were hairs; le cheval volant, the Pegasus,

innards were as light as hair; he’s a flying horse, the Pegasus,

chez les narines de feu! When I bestride him, I

breathing fire from his nostrils! When I ride him, I

soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth

fly like I am a hawk. He trots through the air; the earth

sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his

sings when his hooves touch it; even the sound from his

hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes.

worst hoof sounds sweeter than Hermes’ mythical pipe.

ORLEANS

He's of the colour of the nutmeg.

He’s nutmeg-brown in colour.

DAUPHIN

And of the heat of the ginger. It is a beast for

And as fiery as ginger. He’s an animal worthy of the Greek

Perseus: he is pure air and fire; and the dull

hero Perseus: he is pure air and fire; and the boring

elements of earth and water never appear in him, but

elements of earth and water are never reflected in him,

only in patient stillness while his rider mounts

except when he stands patiently still while his rider mounts

him: he is indeed a horse; and all other jades you

him. He is a proper horse; and all the other nags you

may call beasts.

can call beasts.

CONSTABLE

Indeed, my lord, it is a most absolute and excellent horse.

Indeed, my lord, it is a most perfect, fabulous horse.

DAUPHIN

It is the prince of palfreys; his neigh is like the

It is the prince of fine horses; his neigh is like the

bidding of a monarch and his countenance enforces homage.

king issuing commands, and his looks demand respect.

ORLEANS

No more, cousin.

Enough of that, cousin.

DAUPHIN

Nay, the man hath no wit that cannot, from the

No, a man is clueless if he cannot – from the

rising of the lark to the lodging of the lamb, vary

break of day to dusk – heap

deserved praise on my palfrey: it is a theme as

praise upon my horse. It’s a subject as

fluent as the sea: turn the sands into eloquent

vast as the sea; if every grain of sand could speak

tongues, and my horse is argument for them all:

eloquently, they’d all be extolling the virtues of my horse;

'tis a subject for a sovereign to reason on, and for

it’s a subject worthy of the monarch to talk about, and for

a sovereign's sovereign to ride on; and for the

the king-of-kings to ride upon; and for the whole

world, familiar to us and unknown to lay apart

world, both known and unknown, to stop what

their particular functions and wonder at him. I

they are doing and marvel at this horse. I

once writ a sonnet in his praise and began thus:

wrote a sonnet once, praising this horse, and it began:

'Wonder of nature,' –

‘Wonder of nature,’…

ORLEANS

I have heard a sonnet begin so to one's mistress.

I’ve heard a sonnet begin like that when written for a mistress.

DAUPHIN

Then did they imitate that which I composed to my

Then they were copying the one I wrote for my

courser, for my horse is my mistress.

hunting horse, for my horse is my mistress.

ORLEANS

Your mistress bears well.

Your mistress is a good ride.

DAUPHIN

Me well; which is the prescript praise and

I ride her well; which is what one wants and

perfection of a good and particular mistress.

is the very definition of a perfect mistress.

CONSTABLE

Nay, for methought yesterday your mistress shrewdly

Hang on, I thought yesterday your mistress gave

shook your back.

you a rough ride.

DAUPHIN

So perhaps did yours.

Maybe yours did too.

CONSTABLE

Mine was not bridled.

Mine wasn’t tied up.

DAUPHIN

O then belike she was old and gentle; and you rode,

Oh, then maybe she was old and gentle, and you rode her like

like a kern of Ireland, your French hose off, and in

an ill-equipped Irish soldier, indecently riding with your

your straight strossers.

stockings off, wearing tight trousers.

CONSTABLE

You have good judgment in horsemanship.

You have excellent judgement when it comes to horses.

DAUPHIN

Be warned by me, then: they that ride so and ride

Let me warn you, then: those that carelessly ride like that

not warily, fall into foul bogs. I had rather have

end up getting stuck in the mud. I’d rather have

my horse to my mistress.

my horse than have a mistress.

CONSTABLE

I had as lief have my mistress a jade.

I’d willingly let my mistress be an old horse.

DAUPHIN

I tell thee, constable, my mistress wears his own hair.

I tell you, constable, my mistress has his own hair.

CONSTABLE

I could make as true a boast as that, if I had a sow

I could say the same thing if I had a pig

to my mistress.

as my mistress.

DAUPHIN

'Le chien est retourne a son propre vomissement, et

‘The dog has returned to his own vomit, and the

la truie lavee au bourbier;' thou makest use of any thing.

clean pig has returned to the mud;’ you’re clutching at straws.

CONSTABLE

Yet do I not use my horse for my mistress, or any

But yet my horse is not my mistress, nor do I drop in

such proverb so little kin to the purpose.

random sayings that have no relevance to the conversation.

RAMBURES

My lord constable, the armour that I saw in your tent

My lord constable, the suit of armour I saw in your tent

to-night, are those stars or suns upon it?

tonight, were they stars or suns emblazoned on it?

CONSTABLE

Stars, my lord.

Stars, my lord.

DAUPHIN

Some of them will fall to-morrow, I hope.

Some of them will fall off tomorrow, I hope.

CONSTABLE

And yet my sky shall not want.

And yet my sky will still be full of stars.

DAUPHIN

That may be, for you bear a many superfluously, and

That may be so, because you wear far too many, and

'twere more honour some were away.

it would look more honourable if you lost a few.

CONSTABLE

Even as your horse bears your praises; who would

Much like your horse suffers under the weight of your praises;

trot as well, were some of your brags dismounted.

it would trot better with your brags and some of you removed.

DAUPHIN

Would I were able to load him with his desert! Will

If only I could give him more of the praise he deserves! Will

it never be day? I will trot to-morrow a mile, and

it ever be daytime? I will ride out for a mile tomorrow, and

my way shall be paved with English faces.

the route I take will be paved with dead Englishmen.

CONSTABLE

I will not say so, for fear I should be faced out of

I won’t risk saying that, in case I’m the one killed by the

my way: but I would it were morning; for I would

wayside. But I do wish it were morning, for I’m keen

fain be about the ears of the English.

to start hacking at English heads.

RAMBURES

Who will go to hazard with me for twenty prisoners?

Who wants to hazard a bet that I will take twenty prisoners?

CONSTABLE

You must first go yourself to hazard, ere you have them.

You have to go towards the hazard before you take a prisoner.

DAUPHIN

'Tis midnight; I'll go arm myself.

It’s midnight; I’ll go and put my armour on.

ORLEANS

The Dauphin longs for morning.

The Dauphin is longing for the morning.

RAMBURES

He longs to eat the English.

He wants to eat the English.

CONSTABLE

I think he will eat all he kills.

I think he will eat everyone he kills.

ORLEANS

By the white hand of my lady, he's a gallant prince.

By my mistress’s aristocratic hand, I say he’s a chivalrous prince.

CONSTABLE

Swear by her foot, that she may tread out the oath.

Swear by her foot so she can stamp out the oath.

ORLEANS

He is simply the most active gentleman of France.

He is simply the most active gentleman in France.

CONSTABLE

Doing is activity; and he will still be doing.

He’s certainly active at something, and he’s always doing it.

ORLEANS

He never did harm, that I heard of.

He never hurt anybody, so I’ve heard.

CONSTABLE

Nor will do none to-morrow: he will keep that

Nor will he hurt anyone tomorrow: he’ll keep his

good name still.

reputation intact.

ORLEANS

I know him to be valiant.

I know that he’s brave.

CONSTABLE

I was told that by one that knows him better than you.

I was told that by someone who knows him better than you.

ORLEANS

What's he?

Who’s that?

CONSTABLE

Marry, he told me so himself; and he said he cared

Well, the Dauphin told me that himself, and he said he didn’t

not who knew it.

care who knew it.

ORLEANS

He needs not; it is no hidden virtue in him.

He doesn’t need to hide it; it’s not a hidden strength of his.

CONSTABLE

By my faith, sir, but it is; never any body saw it

I tell you, sir, that it is; no one has ever seen him be brave

but his lackey: 'tis a hooded valour; and when it

except his servant. It’s a well disguised bravery, and when it

appears, it will bate.

appears, it will quickly dissipate.

ORLEANS

Ill will never said well.

Resentful people don’t pay compliments.

CONSTABLE

I will cap that proverb with 'There is flattery in friendship.'

As a retort to that proverb, I’ll say, ‘Friends flatter one another.’

ORLEANS

And I will take up that with 'Give the devil his due.'

And I’ll reply, ‘Always give the devil credit where it’s due.’

CONSTABLE

Well placed: there stands your friend for the

A fine shot: you’ve placed your friend where the

devil: have at the very eye of that proverb with 'A

devil is in the proverb; now I’ll shoot him in the eye with ‘A

pox of the devil.'

pox on the devil.’

ORLEANS

You are the better at proverbs, by how much 'A

You’re so good at proverbs, you prove another: ‘A

fool's bolt is soon shot.'

fool’s arrow is quickly fired.’

CONSTABLE

You have shot over.

You aimed too high.

ORLEANS

'Tis not the first time you were overshot.

It’s not the first time something has gone over your head.

MESSENGER

My lord high constable, the English lie within

My lord high constable, the English army are camped within

fifteen hundred paces of your tents.

fifteen hundred steps from your tents.

CONSTABLE

Who hath measured the ground?

Who has measured the distance?

MESSENGER

The Lord Grandpré.

The Lord Grandpré.

CONSTABLE

A valiant and most expert gentleman. Would it were

He’s a brave and highly skilled gentleman. If only it were

day! Alas, poor Harry of England! He longs not for

daytime! Oh dear, poor Harry of England! He doesn’t want

the dawning as we do.

the dawn to arrive like we do.

ORLEANS

What a wretched and peevish fellow is this king of

What an awful, petulant chap this king of

England, to mope with his fat-brained followers so

England is, slouching about with his idiotic followers, so

far out of his knowledge!

far out of his depth!

CONSTABLE

If the English had any apprehension, they would run away.

If the English had any sense, they’d run away.

ORLEANS

That they lack; for if their heads had any

They lack any sense; for if there was any

intellectual armour, they could never wear such heavy

intellectual capacity within their heads, they couldn’t wear

head-pieces.

such heavy helmets.

RAMBURES

That island of England breeds very valiant

That island of England breeds very brave

creatures; their mastiffs are of unmatchable courage.

creatures; their bear-baiting hounds have unmatched courage.

ORLEANS

Foolish curs, that run winking into the mouth of a

Foolish dogs, they run with their eyes closed into the mouth

Russian bear and have their heads crushed like

of a Russian bear and then have their heads crushed like

rotten apples! You may as well say, that's a valiant

rotten apples! You might as well say that they are as brave as

flea that dare eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion.

a flea that dares to eat its breakfast from the lip of a lion.

CONSTABLE

Just, just; and the men do sympathize with the

Exactly: Englishmen are just like the

mastiffs in robustious and rough coming on, leaving

bear-baiting dogs in their ferocity and fighting spirit, leaving

their wits with their wives: and then give them

their brains at home with their wives. And if you give them

great meals of beef and iron and steel, they will

a big meal of beef and arm them with iron and steel weapons,

eat like wolves and fight like devils.

they’ll eat like wolves and fight like devils.

ORLEANS

Ay, but these English are shrewdly out of beef.

Yes, but these English are markedly short of beef right now.

CONSTABLE

Then shall we find to-morrow they have only stomachs

So tomorrow we’ll find that they only have stomachs that need

to eat and none to fight. Now is it time to arm:

filling and no stomach to fight. Now it’s time to arm ourselves:

come, shall we about it?

come on, shall we get going?

ORLEANS

It is now two o'clock: but, let me see, by ten

It is now only two o’clock; by ten

We shall have each a hundred Englishmen.

We’ll each have killed a hundred Englishmen.